Somewhere, Under The Rainbow

Chiang Khan

I love this town. It’s a traditional Thai town, many of the buildings are made of slatted wood, and, rather than having been knocked down and replaced with concrete boxes, as has happened in many other places in Thailand, here the amazing wooden structures have either been renovated, or left in their original condition.

Someone had the bright idea to market this place as a traditional Thai town, and it’s now set up for Thai tourists, albeit in a very relaxed and low key way. Thankfully, it’s been done tastefully.

And because the landscape is so beautiful around here, and the town itself is set right on the Mekong, it ticks a lot of boxes, and makes for a really attractive place to come and hang out.

Taking hooknose to a new level. Don’t ask me who this dude is, I was curious, but couldn’t find out.

There’s a chilled out night market one street back from the river, it’s got a great vibe

At the end of their shelllife

Maprao kaew, the most delicious sweet ever. I watched them making it on the road into town, in some small shops. It’s basically coconut (maprao) meat, sliced into thin slices using a hand cutting tool, and then boiled up with sugar and a bit of water in a wok. They then dry it out and bag it up.

It’s soft, and sweet (but not too sweet). Really really good. I ate this whole bag in zero minutes.

There’s a long pathway along the river in town, stretching for a few kilometres in either direction. It’s beautiful, especially at dusk.

Don’t ask me about dawn though, I’m not exactly sure what that is. I think I may have seen it a few times on the way home from karaoke bars around the place, but it looked quite blurry, and I can’t seem to remember much about it at all.

See, I told ya. These are way nicer than boring old garden gnomes.

Super quirky naga shrine

Well ok, if you’re gonna be like that about it …..

The pic of this mysterious dish may have you wondering what I’m actually eating these days, but I must say it was one of the most delicious meals I’ve had in ages. Simple too. Fried Thai holy basil (paad krapao), with omelette (khai jiew) and magic mushrooms. Magic in the sense that they tasted magical. I honestly couldn’t get enough of it, and seriously considered ordering the same dish again, but didn’t want locals to think I was a gutsy falang. And I wasn’t hungry after eating it anyway, it just tasted so good I didn’t want it to stop.

Work station. No, play station. I spent a whole day doing nothing much, just writing, playing guitar, hanging out online and going for little strolls. And, of course, eating. And someone bought me a coffee!

This, my friends, is what can only be described as one of the saddest pieces of clothing in world history. It's my riding shirt. Well it was. I finally made the extremely difficult decision to bin it. It was ripped, I was getting sunburnt right through it, and it was too disgusting for even me to wear anymore.

Phu Thok

I know I’m not a juvenile anymore (mostly), and have generally given up on poo talk, but that’s basically how you say the name of this place.

I’ve also gotta tell you in advance that I did yet another dumb thing.

I was looking online at things to see around here, and I found this place, Phu Thok. When I checked it out online, there were photos of an amazing cliff face, with wild dodgy staircases and walkways, and all of these carved Buddhas in caves etc. It looked amazing.

So off I headed on my bike, it was only about 8 clicks from town. The last couple of kms, however, were killers, as they were super steep, like at least 15-20% gradient. But that wasn’t unexpected, given that the temple and carvings were at the top of a cliff. And luckily I wasn’t loaded up with gear, so I eventually got up there.

There was a massive waterfall at the top.

It was me.

I was pouring with sweat, all over the Buddham place. It was so hot.

But luckily, as it was about 11am, any tourists who may have gone up there to witness that elusive dawn had now left, and I was there all alone, in my private gushing.

The views were stunning.

Addams family holiday shack on the way. Don’t need chimneys out here, it’s too hot.

Lots of rushing creeks in these parts

The scenery was beautiful

Getting steeper.

I rarely take pics of the really steep bits because

1. I don’t wanna get off my bike if I’m on a roll

2. It’s so hard to actually start pedalling again up a really steep hill once you’ve stopped

3. There actually aren’t any really steep bits at all, and I’m totally lying, because I’m desperately trying to be loved.

Insta set

The beautiful green hills, valleys and plains of Loei Province.

Looking back to the river, and the town of Chiang Khan.

And now the dumb bit.

I had a major look around at the top, it was a pretty regular shaped hill, which surprised me, and for the life of me I couldn’t find the cliff face and the Buddha carvings and statues.

After unsuccessfully searching everywhere, I rechecked online, only to discover that there’s actually 2 Phu Thoks in Thailand, and the one with the cliff face is about 400 kms away from this one.

Bummer!

Ah well, you can’t win ‘em all.

Anyway it was nice up there, and it gave me a good excuse to rip open another of my little yummy little sweet fruit flavoured electrolyte sachets.

Plus I learnt something new about riding up super super steep hills.

Slow down.

The slower I go the easier it is, and the longer I can stay on my bike without having to rest.

Yep, ya learn somethin’ new every day.

Phu Kok Ngio (Skywalk)

I won’t even say anything about this name, as irresistibly tempting as it is.

To make up for my disappointment at having failed to see some special Buddhas in caves, I then headed west, about 25kms along the Mekong, to see the biggest and shiniest Buddha in the whole district.

It was a beautiful ride out there.

Every piece of flat land is cultivated with rice here. They don’t seem to be that big on terracing around these parts, they just plant trees on the hills, if they’re cleared at all.

Mekong sediment dune. There’s a lot of them about in this area. Not sure if it’s dredged to keep the river navigable or if it’s mined to sell. Or both.

Lunchtime stop. An ice cold oliang, a spiced black coffee. So delicious on a hot day.

Traditional lantern covers, made by members of a local hill tribe.

Buddha looking trim, taut and t'riffic, from this angle. And not looking particularly big either, I might add.

But he is. Maybe this is a better angle.

And then there’s the skywalk part. It’s basically a huge glass and metal platform that juts out right over the cliff, and you walk out over transparent glass floors, and feel your freaked out family jewels diving up into your belly in fear.

There’s great views though.

Notice her shoes? We all had to wear them. You wouldn’t wanna slip, or scratch that precious glass. Or pop a hole in it with your stilettos, before plummeting to a very fashionable death.

I thought of swiping these. They’d come in handy around here sometimes, especially when I’m riding in my runners, and need to go into shops. I wouldn’t need to go to all that bother of unlacing and taking off my shoes.

There was a whole pile of visiting students from a high school in another province up on the platform. We did our usual chatting. They were so nice, so friendly, so polite. As they always always are.

And then we all jumped into sawng teows, little covered utes with bench seats along the sides, to get back down to the bottom of the hill, and they all practised their English with me, getting their tongues all twisted up with the usual suspect phrases.

They all seem to genuinely enjoy these little meetings so much, they’re always hugely giggly excited, as they get back onto their buses and head off to wherever they’re going next.

And I love it too, but I’m way too cool to be seen giggling. I just smile on the outside, but my brain giggles in the privacy of my own head.

The Tai Dam

Meeting this group of tribal people, the Tai Dam (Black Tai), has been one of the highlights of my whole Mekong loop trip so far.

The Tai Dam are a group of tribal people who originated in southwestern China, and then moved to other neighbouring countries.  This particular lineage lived in the mountains of northwestern Vietnam, and whose history there dates back to at least the 17th Century. Their name comes from the predominantly black colour of their traditional clothing, particularly the clothing worn by the women.

In Vietnam they were part of a region called Sip Sawng Chau Tai, (the 12 Tai cantons), which also contained people from other tribal groups such as the Tai Dón (white Tai) and Tai Daeng (Red Tai), all of whom occupied the Red River and Black River areas of Vietnam. But Tai Dam people also live in southwestern China, Myanmar, and Laos.

In Vietnam, the Tai Dam are the 3rd largest hill tribe group in the country, with over a million people identifying themselves as part of this ethnic group.

Incredibly, the whole of Sip Sawng Chau Tai remained an autonomous state right throughout French colonial rule, in the French “protectorate” of Tonkin, and was only incorporated into the state of Vietnam after the French were defeated in 1954, and the Geneva Accords came into effect.

Due to various conflicts in their homeland region from way back in the late 1700s , a number of Tai Dam people left Vietnam, and moved around in various parts of Thailand, eventually settling in the north, starting a village, which is called Ban Na Pa Naad.

It was a beautiful ride from Chiang Khan to get there.

The road was dead, it was basically just me, and, by chance, the rain stopped just before I left Chiang Khan, after it’d been raining for hours beforehand, and didn't reappear for the rest of the day, pretty much.

Rice

Tapioca, and corn at the back

Papaya

There’s a little cultural centre and traditional buildings in the village. This one displays some of their handmade traditional baskets and tools

These colourful hangings are a feature of the Tai Dam, and they hang them everywhere, including using them as lanterns, and have similarly colourful designs on their headpieces.

Original sling

I’m really not sure who this is, but she looks particularly un-Tai Dam.

The first room in the house is always used to pay respects to the spirits (ancestors). There’s separate entrances for males and females. Despite their length of time in Thailand, the Tai Dam have never embraced Buddhism, but have maintained their traditional spiritual beliefs.

They worship their ancestors on the 7th and 8th months of the lunar year, and worship the gods of the land, mountains and water, as well as the soul of the central post of the village.

Both men and women have important roles in the community. After marriage, the groom moves into the home of his new wife’s parents, where the married couple then live for the next 8-12 years.

I wanted to meet this person, but the door was locked.

Old map of the various migratory routes of the Tai Dam. The red circle is the village here in northern Thailand.

There was a bunch of 4 or 5 young Thais visiting the village at the same time as me. The Tai Dam put on a series of traditional dances, just for us. Well, it’s not that we were special or anything, they do it for every group of visitors that comes.

After the first dance an old lady handed me a bamboo percussion instrument so I could join the band. How did she know how much I wanted to do that? Did she notice me tapping or something? It was a large piece of bamboo with a slit in it, and you hit it with a hard piece of wood. It’s loud. I tried to not get too carried away, it was a big challenge.

This guy was rockin out by the end of it all

The odd one up

At least my head’s not the highest human thing in the picture, for a change

After the dancing I went to buy some small things to support the community, and then chatted with Nok, a local woman, for ages. She spent some time living in Krabi, and can speak quite good English, which was a real treat for me out here.

Nok is amazing. She spends her days selling fruit, and looking after her aging dad, as her mother died a few years ago.

What really touched me about this community was their warmth. They smiled all the time. I chatted to the kids, they couldn’t stop laughing and playing, it just felt like a really solid warm and united community, where everything is done for the group.

It really felt to me like the best example of how community life is supposed to be. Everyone has a place, their own particular place, and their own responsibilities. The well being of the group trumps individualism. The elders are the most important people around

I really felt welcomed and respected there, in such a sweet happy way.

Loei

So the rain held off, and I skimmed along another 40 clicks south to Loei, a small and super interesting town, and the capital of Loei Province, another of the 77 provinces in Thailand.

I found a great Chinese hotel

My glass sliding door wouldn’t lock, and right outside it was a balcony accessible to anyone, from inside the building. I changed rooms, for peace of mind.

Fruit from Nok’s stall, green and very unripe mango, sprinkled with sugar and chilli, as is the fashion here.

There’s a cute little river in town

Town pillar shrine, where the city was first founded

I found a place to get some food, and while I was replenishing my famished body I heard a few really loud high pitched screechy trumpeting sounds coming from behind me.

I turned around, to see an elephant, on the street, with its minders, who were going around trying to overcharge people for bags of elephant food, which they would then feed to the elephant, as a way of making a living.

But it’s a total dog’s life for these poor elephants, and I can’t support such things.

In 1989, all logging was banned in what was left of the native forests in Thailand, and all of the elephants that were involved in the industry, where they were used for transporting heavy logs and other heavy labour tasks, became unemployed overnight. As did their handlers (mahouts).

To stay afloat, these trained mahouts began taking their elephants into cities like Bangkok, Surin and Chiang Mai, to basically street beg. They soon realised it was actually a super lucrative thing to do, and surprisingly they began earning more money than they’d been earning in the logging industry.

Once word got out, everyone wanted to do it. Wealthy entrepreneurs bought whole herds of elephants, and rented them out to untrained handlers, and kept the bulk of the profits. And eventually (supply and demand), there were too many elephants on the streets and income fell.

It’s horrible in urban areas for the elephants. There’s all sorts of physical and psychological hazards for them to try and deal with, including traffic, air and noise pollution, all sorts of things on the road to step on and injure their sensitive feet pads, there’s drains and other holes and very uneven hard surfaces, and nowhere near enough good quality food. And that’s before even mentioning the physical violence their handlers dish out to train and control them.

So the whole practice is now illegal in Thailand, and this is the first time I’ve seen it happening in the few months I’ve been in this country this trip. I’ve seen it quite a lot in Bangkok in the past.

Of course, elephants belong in the forest, not in the traffic.

This guy was literally shitting himself.

So after all that I went looking for sweets.

I settled on this option.

My amazing concoction included jackfruit, sweet potato, corn, kidney beans, lotus root, barley, pumpkin, coconut, lotus seeds, water chestnuts, tapioca balls, assorted jellies, rice noodles, coconut milk, rice syrup, and ice. Bloody amazing! Not too sweet either.

After my massive dinner I looked a bit like an elephant.

Nong Bua Lum Phu

I had so much energy today. I just rode and rode and rode.

And who should I meet, not far out of town?

My friend Ellie, with Elephant Man, who doesn’t look too well-heeled, for that matter. Not a big profit going on here I don’t think.

They’re everywhere. Erawan, elephant God of Hindu deities.

It was a great road (ah, Thailand!), with little traffic and a very smooth surface. At least for half the day or so.

Amazing cave

Sweeping view

Cantaloupe juice. I almost gagged, it was so sweet, it was like drinking sugar syrup. But it wasn't bad enough for me not to drink it all.

So there weren’t many towns on the road, and nowhere much to really stop for the night (no camping in this weather), and I was happy to just keep riding.

Eventually it started to get late, and I went searching for a place to stay in Nong Bua Lum Phu, a town about 100km from where I’d set off in the morning. I tried everywhere, it took me ages. All of the potential guest houses were closed, or didn’t exist at all.

And just after I’d ridden through the town, and was still searching on the outskirts on the other side, the heavens completely opened, and rain began to bucket from the sky, in unbelievably huge amounts.

It was raining elephants and buffaloes.

I was absolutely completely saturated within a minute or two. There was nowhere to shelter. I found a tree, but it was useless.

I mean, I personally don’t mind getting totally wet, the only real hassle is having to leave a guilty muddy water trail through someone’s guest house. And also I can’t use my phone to navigate, as I don’t have a waterproof case for it. Still!

So anyway, eventually I found shelter, and really had no option but to go back into town and ask around.

Much of the town was flooded.

After the deluge.

I finally found a guest house. This was the street outside. The water was so deep that my pedals became paddles.

But of course it was super beautiful when glimpses of the sun reappeared and the dusk came.

Beautiful temple.

I dropped my gear off, and didn’t bother drying off (more rain on the horizon), and went straight to the night markets. I ended up with sticky rice and local weird-arse vegetables, and some sweets.

Don’t ask, as I honestly have no idea, but it’s meat

Blind market busker

Bamboo, various amazing-tasting vegies, often with weird bitter flavours, recycled eggs (particularly good ones), and sticky rice.

Fruit and veg, with a sweet black tahini sauce. It was really good, despite looking like one of those rubber pretend meals they have displayed outside shonky takeaway food places in some countries.

Not Too Long Now

No, that’s not a place name.

I guess I’ve ridden about three quarters of my intended loop now. Tomorrow I plan to ride to Udon Thani, about 60km east of where I am now, a city which happens to be the sixth largest in Thailand.

That gives me the opportunity to get things I can’t get in smaller places, such as bike parts.

I so love being back in Thailand.

I’m replenishing my body, the riding’s really so easy (roadwise), and I can communicate so much more freely with the locals, as my Thai’s way better than my Lao. And so is Google Translate, in Thai.

I’m lapping it all up, and soon I’ll also be lapping up the company of my dear close friends, most of whom are gonna need to, scarily, break out of a Great Big Beautiful Bubble way way down in the South Pacific, in order to come up here to meet me. It’s ok though, they’ll be able to hang out in another big beautiful bubble up here with me, one full of rainbows, green forests, unimaginably delectable food offerings, and impossibly wonderful people.❤️

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