Silence Is Golden

It’s hot. Hotter than it’s been anywhere on this trip so far. It’s mid March, it’s been dry for at least 10 days, it’s the middle of the afternoon, and the mercury’s rising.

It appears that the rainy season’s over.

But you never know.

As I sit here in my cute little guest house, eating maprang (sort of a cross between a tiny mango and an apricot), drinking too-strong hot cocoa, and munching on some interesting sesame sweets given to me by the sweetest old lady today, I’m really beaming inside, from all the amazing things that keep happening.

It just keeps getting better.

We had the most amazing jam last night.

I was staying in a little bamboo bungalow in a guest house near Ao Luek, run by a young French guy, Zac, who’s been living in that amazingly beautiful spot for 12 years. A few of his Thai friends were there, and a few Westerners.

There was a really good Thai lead guitarist, some young Thai women with awesome voices, a couple of amazing reggae/rap improvisers, and a really famous Croatian musician, Darko Rundek, the founder and lead singer of a band called Haustor, who were the biggest band in Yugoslavia in the 80s.

(Don’t press play, it won’t work)

Darko’s such a great guy, and an amazing songwriter and musician (and actor and director). After the band split he started a solo music career, and has won loads of national music awards in Croatia, including best male artist, best song (a few times), best music videos etc.

Plus he’s got a great name.

We have a great connection, the jam was absolutely epic, and we crawled into bed about 2am.

Not together though.

It wasn’t that sort of connection.

I really look forward to meeting up with him in Zagreb one day, in sha’Allah. We’ve been in touch a few times since, I’m secretly in love with him. Sorry Frankie.

So, today’s been a beautiful ride, in the hot clear afternoon, after I finally got up,  feeling a bit seedy, and chatted for ages, and then eventually packed.

I’m in Phang Nga province now, and, like Krabi province, the landscape is stunningly beautiful karst country. Limestone cliffs are everywhere.

Every day is bringing new amazing sights and experiences, and beautiful connections with people.

I can’t believe how much I’m loving this lifestyle.

To Ao Luek, Pakor and Thai Mueang

I left Krabi with the plan to ride on the back roads through the hills, around the massive Phang Nga Bay, and then to hit the coast at Haad Thai Mueang, which is a tiny town only about 80km north of the mega touristy region of Phuket.

I had no real desire to go to Phuket this time, after experiencing what Ao Nang has become. One tourist mega-destination is enough for me at the moment.

Back in the 90s I got a job playing music in a bar in the old part of Muang Phuket, the old town, about 15km away from the touristy beaches. It was super fun, even though I ended up playing soft rock covers most of the time, and popular Thai love songs.

Only Thais came to the bar, I made some really nice friends, and fell in love with a Thai woman (of course).

Temporarily (of course).

Not because she wasn’t really nice, but because I was leading the traveller lifestyle, and not staying for too long.

This time I was sorta tempted to go and see Muang Phuket again, but decided there were other new places more appealing to me right now, and I much prefer being in the countryside at the moment, away from big tourist “developments.”

As soon as I hit the back roads heading out of Krabi, the jungle and hill scenery was stunning.

I had short patches on the main road, and it was really easy riding on them, good quality roads with a wide shoulder, and generally gentler slopes. Bit noisy at times though.

What is it with red white and blue, and flags? What about all the other millions of colour possibilities for national flags?

Bit of pork stock never hurt anybody, especially when it’s all there is to eat.

The scene of the jam. Unfortunately I didn’t take any pics of us actually jamming, I was too busy being happy.

This old woman was the sweetest ever. She kept giving me things, an extra drink, fruit, snacks. And priceless smiles.

Ant mound

The pot of gold

My guest house’s colour combo

Delicious super quiet super hilly back roads

Ok, so it had to happen. Black Bewdy, my beloved two-wheeled companion, has been so incredibly reliable for the whole trip so far. I haven’t even had one flat tyre. Not one, in over 2,000km.

How lucky is that!!

So then yesterday I got 2 in about 30 minutes.

It turned out to be a bit of a mission, but it worked out fine, as always.

When I got the first puncture, I was right next to a large unoccupied shady tent, on the side of the road. I’m pretty sure the shelter was erected specifically for me to change a flat on this scorching hot clear day.

I couldn’t find the hole in the bike tube, and, in the absence of a bucket of water to dunk it in to see where the air was escaping, I decided to just replace the whole tube, and repair it later.

I fished around in my panniers, found one of my two spare tubes, only to discover that the valve was too big to fit in my wheel rim. Now that’s useful. I’d bought the tubes in Brissy months ago, in the bike shop where my bike was being serviced, they just handed them to me in a box, I didn’t check the valve size.

Great. About as useful as tits on a bull, as they say.

Don't ask me who they is, because tits would actually be quite useful on a bull, it'd give cows the chance to leave the kids with dad and go out for a bit.

Anyway, Plan B, I slowly examined the bike tube more carefully, and finally found the tiny hole, and repaired it with a patch and some rubber glue I’d bought just last week in Krabi (luckily).

I found a tiny metal filing in the tyre, pulled it out, repaired the tube, and Phak's yer uncle.

30 mins later the tube was flat again.

This time I was right next to a bus shelter, and there was an old guy, a motorbike taxi rider, lying in a hammock inside the shelter. I told him about it, and he grabbed the patched tube and took off with it.

Ten minutes later he came back, urging me to go with him this time. I said sure, leaving my bike and all my worldly possessions in the care of a monk, who was sitting in the shelter.

We rode off to a local bike shop, where the owner told me the patch I’d used to repair the tube was old and faulty (even though I’d just bought it), and then proceeded to patch my tube again, with a patch just like one of my own old ones. Ironic.

Meanwhile the motorbike dude raced off, as he had another job, and after my tube was repaired I sat with the bike shop owner and his wife. They offered me a cold coconut water (yes!), and then came out with the largest jar of cannabis buds I’d seen in a long time. And it was full.

I politely declined the second bit, it being the middle of a hot day, with lots of riding on the cards for me.

I was tempted though.

Eventually I was back on the motorbike, and back to my own bike and gear. The monk was gone, but a young couple were now the caretakers of all my things.

The monk (or the motorbike taxi guy) must’ve arranged for the couple to take over keeping an eye on my stuff.

How beautifully hospitable and thoughtful these people are! I can’t begin to describe how good that feels.

Manually threshing rice. It works a treat, but you don’t wanna be in a hurry.

It was really steep today. I had to push my bike up some big hills.

Shady drink spot

Unprocessed palm oil fruit. It really stinks. The smell you get in palm oil areas is not just the ammonia processing smell, but also the rotten, rancid smell of fermenting palm oil fruit. You smell it strongly even when the utes and trucks full of the fruit pass by.

Eventually I passed through the tiny town of Thai Mueang, and then on to the beach.

There’s a few different spellings of the town in English

My spot for the night. Note the liberal use of the word “resort.” It’s nice though, simple cottages with no extras.

Looking back the other way. The beach is at the end of the street.

And what a stunning beach it was. The beautiful Andaman Sea.

If I swam due west from here I’d eventually end up on the east coast of Sri Lanka, about 1850km away (as the Google crow flies).

Hmmm. I’d like to cycle around Sri Lanka one day.

Better pop that one on the list.

It was so nice at Thai Mueang that I had to stay for another night.

My little half cottage

Heading North Up The Andaman Coast

So, because I wanna do a meditation retreat that officially starts at the end of the month, I need to sorta keep moving. Otherwise I probably would’ve stayed longer at Thai Mueang, it’s really nice there, so chilled, and right on the beach.

The countryside is hilly every day now, but nothing too major.

I’ve noticed that as the weeks go by I’m getting more used to hills and steepness, and I seem to just automatically change down into lower gears and keep doin what I’m doin, not even thinking about the climbs so much anymore.

Amazing what you get used to.

I mean, if it’s super super steep and a long long hill, that’s another story.

Travelling this way is so easy, as long as you’re not in a hurry. People think it’s hard, but it’s really not, trust me.

This guy had veered right across the median strip, exploding his front tyre on the way. I count myself lucky that I wasn’t there a couple of minutes earlier. In this pic I’m looking back behind me.

Quiet hilly roads

The beautiful west coast

Khao Lak beach. Very private resorty.

Creek behind the ocean

Suddenly the skinny back road became a wide concrete road with nothing along it. Go figure.

There’s that wheel of dharma again. This flag is often displayed outside wats, especially during Buddhist festivals or auspicious days.

Brown (Third) Eyes

My beautiful little wooden cottage in the banana fields

My host out here in the sticks is Niran, and he’s the sweetest man. He built two little tourist cottages at the back of his little farmhouse, and they were finished just before Covid hit. What devastating timing. Covid was so difficult financially for his family, a situation I hear time and time again.

It’ll take many people in this country years to fully recover financially. Some will never get back to where they were.

Once I’d settled in to the cottage, Niran brought me a delicious coconut from one of his many trees, and a huge bunch of bananas (the ones with seeds in them, damn!). We chatted for ages, heavily dependent on Google Translate. We’re much the same, him and I, he’s just a bit earlier in the family cycle than I am.

I really appreciate these easy connections.

I headed up the coast the next day, and had lunch at beautiful Bang Sak beach.

On Boxing Day, December 26th, 2004, this beautiful stretch of coastline in southwestern Thailand became a living hell, as the huge tsunami that resulted from the undersea quake near Sumatra smashed into the coast here.

Thousands of km of coastline around the world were devastated that day, and over 225,000 people were killed.

Over 5,000 lives were lost on this particular stretch of coastline alone, because most of the housing at that time was small bungalows at sea level. Some large villages around here lost an estimated 80% of their populations. It’s hard to image the trauma of that sort of event.

Tourist resorts were packed at the time, and although the tsunami also devastated the very touristed area of Phuket, about 150km south of here, most of the accomodation there was in high rise concrete apartments, so many more people survived. The death toll in Phuket was about 250, including tourists.

Better than nothing I guess

What an amazing spread. My lunches are always brunches, but still, this was too much food, even for me.

So much happenin

These were a long way from the beach

This lovely woman made me a crepe. Not with raspberry jam though. Mine was peanuts and banana.

The guest house owner’s son's masterpiece

Heading East Again

I seem to change direction a lot lately. I’ve already crossed the Kra Isthmus, that skinny stretch of land at the southernmost tip of Thailand, twice now, and here I am, at it again.

This crossing is an especially hilly one, with a high range of hills separating the western and eastern coasts. That made the road particularly stunning, of course.

This is a brand new house. The picture is an arty portrait of a very pensive King Bhumibol, who died in 2016, and was king of Thailand for over 70 years. He was the third longest reigning monarch in world history, after the French King Louis XIV, and England’s Liz II.

He was also my fave, he did so much good work for so many years.

But the main reason I loved him is because he played the sax and liked jazz.

Incarcerated elephants, roped up for tourist butts. Not good. They call these places “elephant sanctuaries,” but they’re actually the opposite.

Elephants are wild animals. They don’t carry people around for the love of it, or because they’re just naturally cute and friendly and love humans.

They’re made to do it.

In order to domesticate elephants, handlers trap them in tight bamboo “crush” enclosures for days or weeks on end, and only feed them sparingly. Starving, the elephants eventually accept wearing chains or harnesses, and are given rewards when they comply to commands.

It’s basically torture for them.

So don’t go on any elephant rides anymore, ok? No matter what they say about their love of the animals, cos it’s all bullshit.

Actually it’s bigger than bullshit. It’s elephant shit.

You may not be able to really see the steepness of these hills, but trust me, they were tough.

I didn’t have to push my bike this time though, that’s something I guess.

But it was a super long climb today, I was knackered at the end of the day.

But boy, was it worth it.

Khao Sok National Park

I eventually made it to the small tourist village of Khao Sok.

Another amazing coconut shake. My bananas were dead, after all that heat. I still ate them though, I didn’t feel like making banana cake today.

Weed is everywhere. It reminds me of Nepal, back in the good old days.

It was hot and dry. I was really happy to camp by a cool creek. See my camouflaged tent at the back?

Well, “cool” in a Thai sense, it was cool-ish. But it was still super refreshing.

After refreshments I immediately headed into the bush. It was beautiful, as the day turned to night, and it was totally dark by the time I got back.

These posts are actually concrete.

Bamboo rainforest

I swam here. It was bliss.

So I had to swim here too.

There was no one much around, as it was getting late, and by the time I headed back there was no one else there at all.

The forest was rich with sound, with the amazing calls of monkeys, birds and insects, of all descriptions. It was really beautiful, the sounds so prolific. There’s gibbons in this forest too, but I didn’t see or hear any.

Cheow Lan

I rode across to the eastern park of the park, it took me all day, and was a really tough, steep hilly ride.

The scenery was magnificent, I hope you don’t get bored by all the landscape pics.

Eventually I decided to take another back road, even though this sign was there. My cycle route app told me I could get through.

Who to trust?

After a few km I thought I’d made a mistake, because there was no traffic whatsoever.

The road turned to dirt. There were just a few small farming cottages, some palm oil plantations, coconuts, bananas.

I got chased by loads of dogs on this road, for some reason. It was strange. My strategy now is actually to slow down and chat to them (the dogs), it seems to lighten them up a bit and they seem to become less ferocious and dog-macho.

Eventually the bitumen restarted, and I was able to get through after all. My app won that little contest, unusually.

I came across a wat, built at an auspicious viewpoint of what is known as Heart-Shaped Mountain, I’ve got no idea why.

Eventually I made it to my guesthouse, and then, already super tired, decided to ride to the lake, Cheow Lan. It was uphill bigtime, and really really steep. I died.

But the view was amazing, and resurrected me.

The colour of the water was magnificent

Sunset on the pier. Note the Devil (aka Frankie) bottom right.

And his devilish sidekick (aka Milena). We all chatted and enjoyed the sunset together.

Eventually I rode back to the guest house, and the sky became even more magnificent.

Later I walked down to a tiny little eating place, and met the most beautiful woman, Nok. We had a lovely chat, and then her two kids and some of their friends arrived, and later her husband Pai too.

We had the best fun

The kids going nuts. Don’t worry, they don’t know what 2 fingers in that direction means in the West.

The next night I hung out with Nok and Pai and their two kids Puth and Nol. We had the best time ever.

Puth (the girl) is learning piano, and actually has an ok electric piano. Yay!!

We all played together for ages, swapping instruments, singing, chatting, looking at each other’s pics.

It was really fun, and so nice to connect with a young family. And be silly with some cheeky kids.

I love these connections, they’re so rich.

And fleeting.

Ok, so those black soy eggs I’ve posted pics of and keep talking about are actually called kai eeow maa in Thai. That means “horse piss egg.” Great name.

I finally had some the other day, in a traditional dish with fried Thai basil and mountains of chilli, called phad kra pao.

The dark brown things are the eggs. They’re actually not just soy eggs. The more common English name for them is “century eggs” or “thousand year eggs,” because they’re actually old. Not a hundred or a thousand years old, but more like a few weeks or a few months, depending on the way they’ve been prepared and preserved.

It’s really interesting how they’re made.

First, they make up a mixture of clay, ash, salt, quicklime (Calcium Oxide) and water, and completely cover the raw chicken, quail, duck or goose eggs with it. Then the eggs are rolled in rice husks (to stop them from sticking to each other), and stored in airtight containers in a cool, dry place for at least a few weeks, where they naturally ferment, until the egg white and the yolk has completely solidified.

The egg white turns a translucent brown, with a jelly-like consistency.

They taste quite delicious, albeit with a little ammoniac pungent smell (hence the horse piss name). These ones were relatively young, the longer they’re preserved the darker the yolk gets, often it goes green or grey.

You can buy the eggs from any market in Thailand, they’re pink.

Ok, so I had an ant problem in my guest house. They loved my coconut oil. I went out, and returned to this mess. They were all over my room.

It then occurred to me that before I’d gone out I’d disconnected a little electric pest-control device (which I thought was for mozzies), because I needed to plug in my phone.

I plugged the colourful little thing back in.

Voila! Within a couple of hours all the ants were gone, there were just a couple of lone stragglers left, born to be different. Amazing.

I’d put the ant-ridden coconut-oily plastic bag in the bathroom, without washing it in any way, and all the ants left it too.

I couldn’t really believe it, but it happened.

The company spiel says the device sends an electrical pulse through the walls that disrupts bugs in some way. I checked out some reviews online and read that a couple of people took them apart, only to discover there’s no pulse device in it at all, just a few coloured lights.

Tricky.

But it still worked for me.

But the best thing of all was finding this review:

Back to a Fat Road

The next day I cycled up and down hills for an hour or so, and then it was finally time to leave the quiet bush roads, and hit the main road heading east.

It’s been stifling hot, and dry. The sun’s glaring. There’s not a lot of breeze, and the road’s been hilly.

So, it’s been tough climbing up the hills, and then easy cruising down them, but with a hot breeze in my face the whole way.

My eyes are hurting.

I think it’s a combination of the glare, plus the grit being thrown around by the wind.

I bought what I thought were some good sunnies a couple of weeks back, maybe they’re not so good after all.

This was my breakfast.

Yeah I know. But there was absolutely nothing else to eat and I was starving.

Anyway, what’s wrong with it? It’s basically orange sugar with chocolate sugar, inside a sugar crepe. Three strikes and I’m in.

Oh come on, what’s unusual about this unicorn with a rhino horn, wearing a ballroom dress and pink boxing gloves?

I was super surprised to see this. The middle sign is actually the monastery which has set up the retreat centre where I’m gonna do the meditation retreat. The monastery itself has become pretty famous in Thailand.

Tha Rong Chang markets. I stayed the night near here. This girl was smiling when I asked her if I could take her pic, and she said yes. As soon as I pointed my camera at her she glummed out. Go figure.

I sat here and ate som tam (green papaya salad), washed down with milky sweet iced tea. It was all delicious.

Then I had to order some kanom krok, a sweet coconut rice dessert, made from coconut milk, coconut oil, sweet rice, and corn.

Oh, and just a little Carnation condensed milk.

They were yummy

Everyone does the peace fingers here. They even instruct me to do it in selfies or pics.

I love it, cos I still naturally do them myself sometimes, and it makes me feel like at last I can fit in again, after all these decades.

All the ducks lined up in a row

Missing their insides though

OMG, where’s that Riddex? Does it work on scorpions? His stinger didn't come out till later, when I locked him in the bathroom.

Surat Thani

It just so happened that my new Thai friends, the young family, were going to this city, same as me, as they’ve just bought a house there, and needed to do some renos and buy some furniture etc.

They asked me out for lunch, and to hang with them for an afternoon, even though they were super busy. They’re so nice.

Where did us classy bourgoisie go for lunch?

To Chester’s, of course.

It was in a big shopping mall, and is basically like a big Thai-style KFC, located smack bang in the middle of a Thai-style Westfield.

It was so fun

Pol (whom they nickname monkey), after he snatched my sunnies

I had the spicy fish, as the only other options were fried chicken, burgers or plain rice, and I didn’t want to appear rude. It was actually delicious. Thais know how to cook seafood, even at Chester’s.

Then we went to the Thai version of K-Mart, called MR DIY, where they were looking for things for their house, such as clocks and towels and other super interesting things like that.

Later, the kids and I ate sweet almondy pastry sticks, from the Thai version of Dunkin Donuts.

The kids were excited, because 1. They were in the Big Smoke (their village is actually tiny, not even a shop very close), and 2. They got to hang out with the farang and be cheeky and practice saying English words like shit to someone who might find it funny. (I did). I didn’t teach them that word btw. The internet did.

We had such a laugh. It sorta reminded me of taking the kids to IKEA back in the day, which, full disclosure, I admit to doing in a former life.

I even admit to having fun there. (Not the shopping part, but the playing with the kids part).

Anyway, back in Surat Thani, eventually they dropped me back at my guest house, we said our sad goodbyes, and promised to keep in touch. Who knows when or if we’ll ever see each other again.

Surat Thani’s a medium sized Thai city that used to be a bit of a backpackers’ hangout, as the ferries to the popular islands of Koh Samui, Koh Phangan and Koh Tao all used to leave from the wharf right in town.

But these days only a few travellers stay here, as their tourist minivans bypass the town and go right to the ocean piers, about 30km up the road, where they all connect up with the ferry sailing times.

It’s no-hassle travelling in Thailand for young backpackers these days. You can basically get collected by minivan right from your hostel, and be delivered to the front door of your next hostel in your next travellers destination without any fuss whatsoever. Needless to say, your minivan will be full of young travellers like you, and be driven by a young Thai guy who will often keep to himself, or be on his phone while he’s driving.

So, in that respect, Thailand’s the perfect place to start out if you’re new to travelling in Asia. It’s easy.

And the thing is, it’s easy even if you don’t travel that way.

The Topi River runs through the town, it gives it a peaceful vibe.

There’s a small but nice night market along the riverfront

And rickety old ferries still leave for the islands from this wharf.

He needs a lighter sinker I reckon

Yeah, I had to try some. Another sweet coconut milk rice-noodley soy beany strawberry Quik-ey dried bready thingy.

Chinese temple with impressive climbing dragon

Yeah, you can get weed lassis here, called happy lassi. I know them well, from India days, where they’re called bhang lassi, ie, lassis with bhang, which is ganja paste.

I’m sure I’ll tell you some bhang lassi stories sometime. Everyone who’s spent time in India has mindbending tales to tell about them.

I love the Kushty Kookies idea too. Cushty is Pommy slang for awesome.

Another tribute to the scholarly previous King.

I had to take a pic of this, not only because the little girl’s helmet is cute, but because it really reminded me of riding around Bali on a motorbike with Lali hanging on behind me like this.

Lali was 6 at the time. Brigitte, Shamani, Lali and I had already had quite a long day of motorbike riding, and it was late afternoon. We were zooming along, there was quite a bit of traffic.

Suddenly I noticed that Lali went limp, and started to slowly slip sideways off the motorbike behind me! Fuck!

I grabbed her just in time, throwing an arm behind me. She’d totally fallen asleep!

It scared the crap out of me, I pulled over immediately, and sat her on the seat in front of me this time, where I could hold her more easily.

We took off, and in about 2 minutes she was asleep again.

Safely this time.

Ah, the trust of a child.

The foyer of my hotel, with Black Bewdy faithfully carrying my new yoga mat

Side salads, which are complementary with most dishes at non-tourist places, are often composed of cucumbers, often a bit of raw cabbage, some green spring onion leaves, tiny raw eggplants, and these serrated-edged crispy cucumber thingies. Interesting and tasty.

Btw, I hope all these food shots aren’t too boring. It’s really not boring eating this stuff, I can tell ya.

One day I cycled over this old bridge to Koh Lamphu, an island right in the middle of the wide river, that’s  now a tree-filled park with beautiful paths, cycle tracks, lakes, and a few unobtrusive sports grounds.

And the occasional Enlightened One, of course.

Lotsa fish

Academy Awards shop back in town

Beautiful street art in the old part of town

Burmese shop

The Surat Thani City Pillar Shrine. These shrines are a feature of all Thai cities, the most famous is in Bangkok.

When new cities were dedicated, a city pillar was carved and placed in an auspicious spot, before even any soil was moved or brick laid in the new city.

The pillars had monuments to the four directions, north, south, east and west, and were dedicated to provide peace and prosperity to the new city.

Buddha’s four faces, for the four directions

Incredible gilded tree

Well, “tree.”

Penny for your thoughts.

Oh yeah, you’re not thinking, that’s right.

The ubiquitous symbol of Thailand

What? It’s not always like this. Don’t be so judgmental. You should’ve seen it before I tidied up.

OMG It’s A Map

So ok, maybe you’d like to see where I’ve been in Thailand so far this trip?

I started in the south, at the letter A, the Malaysian border, and zig-zagged northwards.

The Deep South

The Not-So-Deep-But-Still-A-Little-Bit-Deep-South. See all those hills?

Sorry, but this isn’t my exact route, it’s just what Google wanted my route to be. I can’t be arsed doing all that really fiddly mappy stuff, I’ve got extremely important other things to do.

Chaiya

Eventually I left Surat Thani, and took the very back back roads to Chaiya, a small town close to the monastery I’m heading for.

There was a lot of water about, canals and narrow rivers.

This scene really reminds me of the backwaters of Kerala, India, but with oil palm trees instead of coconut palm trees.

Initially, I rode through a huge aquaculture area. The whole place is covered in freshwater shrimp farms, with large and mostly square or rectangular ponds being aerated by rotating propellers.

The shrimp industry is massive here, although over-intense farming in the last two decades has led to environmental issues (due to effluent), and the spread of a virus, both of which have drastically reduced yields.

You can see how many of them there are

All the black squares are ponds. The surrounding farmland is currently decidedly drier and browner than in this map image.

Small village with old teak buildings

Looking rather cocky

Chaiya is a really small town, the old part of which hasn’t changed much since I was last here around 15 years ago.

It’s poor. No one speaks English.

And the night market is small, but really interesting.

Exotic local greens and sprouts

Jenkol beans. These can be a little toxic if you have too many (apparently), and are often used for medicinal purposes. They’re sometimes served raw with other side greens, or are steamed or boiled. They stink a bit too, a bit eggy, when they’re raw.

Jackfruit processing

These grilled eggs are super interesting, and really time consuming to make.

First, a tiny part of one end of the raw egg is cracked, and a fat syringe placed inside, and the egg liquid is sucked out. You do this to all the eggs first, and then add spices and lots of pepper to the liquid egg mix, and beat it till it’s all mixed.

Then you reinsert the liquid mixture into each individual egg shell, using the same hole, and keep it upright in a steamer.

Once all the eggs are steamed you then skewer them and grill them over coals.

They’re bloody delicious.

Ruins from the Srivajayan Kingdom. The ocean inlet just east of here is thought to have been a Srivajayan port during the 7th to 13th centuries.

Srivajaya was a huge kingdom based in Sumatra, which, actually, isn’t that far away on a ship. Chaiya was close to the northernmost tip of the kingdom’s reach.

Perfume rack, with flavours including Bulgari, Paris, London Blueberry, CPS Chap (a clothing fashion brand), Playboy, Duke, Pro-Sport, and Afraid-Of-Spots. That’s actually all true.

The Bliss of Being

Well ….. what can I say?

Yesterday I left Wat Suan Mokkh, the Buddhist monastery in Chaiya, after 12 nights there, and after 10 days of complete silence, and many hours of meditation every day.

It was amazing.

So amazing.

I feel like my insides have been pulled right out of me, cleansed, massaged, lovingly perfumed, and then gently been put back.

But not inside.

I feel like my insides are now on the outside.

On the retreat, I experienced the world and the people around me in the most incredibly soft and beautiful way, my heart felt so raw and open.

And now everything is so much more brilliant, so much brighter, than it was before. Everything I experience seems even more amazing.

And certain experiences are also way more intense, in a sensory way.

It’s so beautiful to know that my whole experience of the world is completely based on my own state of mind, and completely dependent upon how I’m seeing the world at that particular moment.

I mean, we all know that intellectually anyway.

But to actually see it, in plain sight, and to experience it directly, from a place of deep concentration and quiet, is mind blowing.

I achieved enlightenment under this tree one morning, whilst watching the sunrise and listening to the birds. It lasted about an hour.

Better than nothing.

I know a bunch of you have already done retreats like this before, so you know what I’m talking about.

And of course, the experience is never just warm and fuzzy bliss and enlightenment.

It’s hard to live like a monk.

Every day the bell would ring at 4am, and we’d prepare for our first meditation session at 4.30. Then there’d be a long yoga session, and more meditation, then a breakfast of rice, barley and bean soup (which I nicknamed the cruel gruel), with bits of corn and carrot and this and that.

The days and evenings basically consisted of sitting and walking meditation, Buddhist teachings (Dhamma), a chanting session in Pali (the language that predates current Thai), and a bit of work around the retreat centre.

But it was mainly meditation, about 8 hours a day.

And food twice a day, breakfast and lunch. Lunch was delicious, a couple of tasty local Thai curries with local red rice. Sometimes even a traditional sweet, like some sort of boiled local fruit with tapioca and a bit of home made coconut milk.

It didn’t take long to get used to two meals a day. I really like it. I love having an empty stomach at bedtime.

And of course, everything was in complete silence. Which is actually pretty easy for me personally, and, in fact, wasn’t so challenging for most of the people I chatted with after the retreat.

The hard part for many of them was the lack of distractions. Most of the retreatants are of the internet generation. Going cold turkey from that isn’t easy.

The silence, and lack of external stimulation (no devices, books, etc), gave my own mind the chance to start looking at itself deeply, how my thoughts develop, how they lead to certain other thoughts, and the sort of connections and triggers my mind makes.

It felt like my thoughts slowed down, so I could see them more clearly.

Negativity, judgments, discomfort, rage, worry, fear, it’s all there in my head. And every other feeling under the sun. It’s enlightening to watch how my body and mind responds to all of these, and how it works through them.

And then for long periods my mind became quiet, and I could focus on the realities of existence that meditation can help to reveal.

For me personally, because I’ve done a bunch of retreats like this before, I sorta know the routine, and what makes it work best for me.

When I hear the bell, I just do what I’m supposed to do. I don’t really doubt, or dither. I know it’s easier that way.

I also know not to get too attached to trying to achieve some sort of goal for the retreat, be it a particular meditation goal, or to try to achieve a particular state of mind.

Of course, the big lesson, always, is just to let go.

Whenever we can deeply feel what’s going on for us at any moment is, as the monks say, a moment of really being alive.

Most of the time we’re trapped in thinking about the past, or planning the future.

Which is just a waste of time, and actually makes our lives quite a bit shorter, in my view.

This is a Tibetan thangka, a spiritual painting used to explain philosophy, and describes the cycle of existence from a Buddhist point of view, what they call dependent origination.

So even though this is from a different school of Buddhism, the Mahayana tradition, common in China, Tibet, Vietnam and other northern Asian countries, it is still used by Therevadan Buddhist teachers. The Therevadan tradition is the one prevalent in Thailand, Myanmar, Cambodia and Sri Lanka.

For me, one of the most important premises of their whole philosophy is the understanding that the key to happiness is desire.

It’s pretty simple really.

Whenever our senses make contact with any sensory stimulation, we subconsciously judge the experience as positive, negative, or neutral. Then we automatically crave more of the positive, or crave to get away from the negative. This immediately throws us out of the present moment, and flings us into the future, or the past.

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to have positive experiences all the time. That just defies the laws of physics and nature.

It’s clear that however we try to push it away, suffering exists in our lives. Shit happens to us. To the people we love. We get old. We fuck up. Selfish wankers become presidents. Port Adelaide loses AFL games.

The Buddhist solution to this conundrum is to be wise and aware at that very moment of sensory contact.

Then we can experience the stimulation knowing its impermanence, and without craving its continuation or extinction.

Then we can just stay happy.

The monks teach that meditation practice can help us to develop mindfulness and awareness at every moment.

Easy.

And the amazing this is, if we all did it, the world would be a completely peaceful and harmonious place. Everyone would have as much as they need. The planet would be healthy, and the plant and animal queendom would be flourishing.

The trouble is, we’ve all got other things to do, and desire is such a powerful beast.

The land that houses the retreat centre itself is beautiful. It’s changed a lot since I was last there, in about 2005. There’s so many more beautiful trees, they’ve all grown, so many were flowering, and of course, they’ve brought the birds.

The meditation sessions were rich with the sounds of so many different beautiful bird calls, insects. And the sounds of various villagers, inhabitants of nearby dwellings, some of whom loved to play some pretty loud and pretty cool Thai rock and traditional Thai folk music during our nightly meditation sessions. And some pretty bad Thai pop as well.

And the meditation sala is just a big wall-less shelter with a beach sand floor, so it's not the most soundproof of buildings.

Which also meant it was teeming with mozzies during the dark hours, another challenge for us meditator-masochists.

I did a lot of walking meditation here

The male dorm area. Men and women slept and ate in separate areas, but we all hung out together in the same med salas and practised yoga together.

Looks a little prison like doesn't it. The open tank was our wash house and laundry.

My room, or cell, or whatever you wanna call it, for 12 nights. A hard wooden bench to sleep on, but luckily there was a mozzie net. No, you couldn’t swing a cat in it, but maybe a small rat. Five star luxury, minus six stars.

But I got used to it.

And then suddenly it was over.

We all had the chance to connect with each other for a couple of hours after the retreat, after the silence ended. It was beautiful, to chat with people I’d met before the retreat began, about our experiences, about the silent connections we’d made during the retreat.

A bunch of us checked out the main monastery after the retreat was over, and a friendly old monk and a nun showed us around.

The monastery was founded by Ajahn Buddhadasa, in an attempt to encourage people to get back to the roots of Buddhism - ie, nature, meditation and mindfulness.

So he built a monastery in the forest, which became a magnet for many young Thais, who ended up becoming monks and nuns.

Ajahn Buddhadasa. A lot of Western faces out there.

He loved animals, including this chook, which loved him back

These days Buddhism in most countries, including Thailand, has become like Christianity has in the West. As long as you perform the obligatory rituals, like lighting incense in the temples, going to church on Christmas Eve, or donating money, then you’re ok, and you’re guaranteed a spot in heaven or Nirvana.

But of course we all know that heaven isn’t even vaguely related to any of that.

So Buddhadasa wanted to encourage people to get back to the true teachings of Buddha - practising meditation, in order to understand the true nature of existence. That's why he founded the monastery.

The monastery has a trippy spiritual art and sculpture gallery.

Buddha handing out the power of true vision

Buddhism also has its old school Eve-as-the-temptress tradition. Pretty tiresome. Hopefully they’ll eventually get over it.

All churches fight each other, including various Buddhist sects.

This rather cryptic message is really about the difference between what we regard as happiness, and true contentment. In the Buddhist view, as soon as we can let go of the desire for pleasure we can be truly happy.

High five, brew

I made some amazing new friends at Suan Mokkh.

The banner reads “The Youth Of Today Are The Key To World Peace.”

My WhatsApp address book is pretty full these days, and getting fuller every day.

Soon I’ll have to get a new, fatter one.

It’s so good to make these connections. I can’t tell you how good it is.

Back on the Road

So, surprisingly, I suddenly have some real time constraints.

Some of us have things to do, you know.

My Thai visa runs out in a week or so.

Almost two months have passed here in this beautiful country already. I need to get to a city with an Immigration Department so that a friendly bureaucrat can allow me to stay here longer, and let me keep doing what I’m doing.

So I gotta get moving again.

It’s time to get back to the unreal world❤️