Splash ‘n’ Learn

Chaiya to Chumphon

Ok, so there’s things to do.

I have to extend my visa, it runs out in a few days. I want to do that in a large town called Hua Hin, a few hundred clicks up the coast from here, because the process is super easy and quick there, compared to anywhere around here.

So I decided to ride from the monastery to Chaiya, and then to catch a train with my bike for 3 hours north, to knock 150 clicks off the ride. I don’t have time to make it all the way to Hua Hin before my visa expires. Not at my pace anyway.

So I took the 3rd class train yesterday afternoon, after leaving the monastery around midday.

The most horrible thing happened while I was sitting waiting on the platform for the train.

There’s a small park across from the platform, where I was sitting.

A big car suddenly arrived at the park with 2 women in it, and then a motorbike arrived soon after, with a woman and a girl in her late teens.

Suddenly one of the women from the car ran over to the woman on the motorbike and started to physically beat her. She ripped her off the bike, punched and kicked her, bashed her head repeatedly onto a table, threw her to the ground, and kicked her again and again, all whilst shouting abuse at her.

The woman being beaten didn’t fight back whatsoever. She just screamed.

After what seemed like an eternity, the woman who did the beating eventually stopped, and then took off on the other woman’s motorbike.

I was really shaken. I’d just left the retreat that morning, I was feeling incredibly sensitive. I almost ran over to try to stop it, but it somehow seemed to me like some sort of retribution was going on, for something the woman had done. I can only speculate what that might have been.

But it was so hard to watch, so stomach curdling to see what humans are capable of doing to each other.

I’ve seen some brutal violence over the years, almost all of it outside Australia. It’s never easy to see, and then impossible to unsee.

Time passes. Not long after the gut wrenching beating, this couple arrived to take their loving wedding pics, feeling all warm and fuzzy. I’m glad they didn’t arrive ten minutes earlier.

The train was fun. Old school. No frills. An hour late, but it got me there. My bike cost 3 times as much as my own fare. My passenger fare was a huge AUD1.

The roped off section is for monks and nuns, and people with disabilities. These dudes were monks.

Teak farmhouse.

Little town on the way

Trackside market

And then I arrived in the beautiful Chumphon, it’s really just a medium-sized fishing town, with a bustling little night market.

My train at Chumphon

I got a hotel. I slept on a mattress for the first time in awhile. It was no big deal.

It had a real bathroom and toilet. With a bum gun.

I gotta say, every toilet in the world should have a bum gun. No need for toilet paper.

Save the trees.

Plus it feels great. Mmmmmm.

Tonight I’m happily back on my yoga mat in my tent, listening to the waves and the whirring of the insects.

Thung Yang

It was a long hot ride today.

The temperature’s been in the high 30s for weeks now. And clear every day. Not a cloud in the hot sky.

Geow mangorn (dragon fruit) plantation

These odd shaped watertank towers are ubiquitous in Thailand. The stand itself is also full of water.

This is Niw, from Nakhon Si Thamarrat in southern Thailand. He’s walking all the way to Bangkok from his home, in 2 months. That’s a distance of about 800km, if you stick to the coast. Amazing. He’s the first Thai person I’ve met that’s actually into walking.

We met at this roadside shelter and he shared his food with me. So sweet. Don’t worry, he didn’t go hungry, he seriously had lots of food. After all, he’s Thai.

We shared loads of stories too.

We had icecream, which I bought from a woman riding past.

It was homemade coconut icecream, in a cone, with sticky rice inside, and chocolate topping. Delicious on a scorcher of a day.

Delicious anytime.

We had plain sticky rice, khao niew, unripe mango (it’s actually delicious, still tart and hard), and beautiful steamed sticky rice sweets wrapped in palm leaves.

It was an amazing meeting.

Niw’s a Buddhist, and spends his days looking after his 85 year old mother. His younger brother is doing his job while he’s away.

We talked of the finer points of Buddhism, he’s pretty devout. We talked of how beautiful and easy it is to travel the slow way through Thailand, how amazingly warm and generous the people are, how safe the country is.

I’m loving Thailand with a passion, which is growing day by day.

The only pic I have of myself riding my fully laden bike. A couple of German cyclists, Zeno and Jakob, heading in the other direction, snapped this of me as I approached them.

Zeno has ridden from Europe, although he flew from Istanbul to Bangkok, instead of riding through Iran, Pakistan and India - or through Central Asia (the stans - you know, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, et. al) and China.

They’re lovely guys. We’ll keep in touch, as we wanna keep exchanging tips.

Zeno keeps messaging me with more info and WhatsApp groups to help me on my way. So sweet.

This is really traditional, poor, back country Thailand, the villages are small and old school, there’s nowhere much to eat, except the very occasional street stall, or someone passing with something on a motorbike.

Low tide on the east coast

Stunning roadside views

Kiew chap, a delicious soup with egg, made by the sweet old woman at the back. I offered her some of my deep fried bananas, she accepted one, but then showed me her almost toothless mouth. It took her at least ten minutes to eat the one she took.

More beautiful karst

My spot close to the beach

It’s Songkran!

I didn’t realise it was happening, but now it’s Songkran in Thailand, the Thai New Year. It’s the biggest holiday break in the country, and goes from April 12-16 every year.

It’s the best festival ever.

And everyone’s on the road, so acommodation is impossible to find, or is wildly expensive.

Or should I say, wildly over my budget.

But no worries mate, the weather’s ideal for camping, it’s hot and dry every day. All you need is shade, and some way of cooling off. Songkran provides the perfect way of doing that, as it's the Spring Water Festival.

I ended up at this place, the Happy Bar, after I saw a camping sign on the road.

Chang seems to be getting tastier again, bit by bit.

The place is starting to get busy with Thais, and loads more people will arrive today. It looks like the whole bar was built for Westerners once upon a time, but Covid put an end to all that. There wasn’t one farang there, except me.

Yut and his wife Phu (I didn’t tell her what her name means in English), are a lovely Thai couple, who were camping out for the night, close to my tent, on their way to Ubon Ratchathani for Songkran. We hung out in the eve and had a beautiful brekky together the next morning, of traditional Thai sticky rice snacks. Yum.

As there’s no reception for me here, or wifi, I had to take a pic of Yut’s facebook page so we can become friends later. He looks like a Mexican warlord in this pic, don’t ya think?

Don’t die. This is the sunrise, and I pic-ed it myself, with my very own unsleeping body. Must be the monastery routine. It’s gotten to me. I’ve been damaged.

But I do admit it was stunning out there. Maybe I should do it more often.

Since the retreat ended I’ve been getting up early, meditating and doing yoga every day. And no one’s forcing me!

Hopefully this ridiculous state of affairs will pass, and I’ll become normal again soon.

Although, scarily, I’m meeting Iain in Bangkok in a couple of weeks, and he tends to get up at sparrow’s fart. We’re gonna be hanging out together for a couple of weeks, we’re not sure where we’re going yet.

Maybe I’ll have to keep up the early mornings for a bit longer, in deference to his illogical crazy habits.

Buddha forbid.

A bunch of local fishers came to my own private part of the beach. I let them stay for a bit. Or were they letting me stay?

One guy caught this amazing barracuda.

My yoga spot

I decided to ride around exploring the coast today, and leave my tent and gear where it is for another night, save the packing up, and save my legs and butt from another day of full blooded loaded up riding.

My butt’s been super sore. I think all that yoga and meditation has realigned my hips, or something. My hard leather bike seat needs time to readjust. Or my butt does. After all these months on my bike, I suddenly feel like I have to get used to the seat again.

It’s hot. I just looked at the weather online, it said 37 degrees, feels like 43. I don’t know how they determine the “feels like” bit, but they’re right. It feels way hotter than a mere 37.

The coastline here is stun-ning!

I stopped at a noodle place and had a delicious veg peanut curry dish and this amazing side salad. They know how to make a salad in this country.

Later I couldn’t resist an oliang, a Thai iced coffee, which is brewed coffee mixed with some sort of caramel and spices, and then cooled and served with ice. Needless to say, it’s delicious. And it could also be a new nickname for me.

The locals set up a little tent village on the main road, for Songkran activities and to feed the passing tourists, many of whom are from Thai cities. It’s sort of in the middle of nowhere, but there’s lots of lovely tall casuarina trees around.

I got there in the middle of a gripping beach football match, the commentary provided by an excitable Thai man using a PA with the volume set to DISTORTION.

The locals were right into it (but a couple of them still noticed me taking their pic).

On the way back to the beach campsite I got totally drenched by kids and teenagers heading up and down the main road on the back of pick up trucks, toting large high powered water guns, or just large buckets, used to douse everyone in sight with massive volumes of water.

A few had already got me in the other direction earlier in the day.

But this was next level.

It’s the Songkran water blessing/water fight.

The pickups were plying up and down the road pretty much all day, with massive blue barrels of water which they refilled regularly.

It’s the best fun ever! Everyone has an absolute ball, laughing their heads off at each other. It’s hot, the water’s cool, and, being the only farang around, I seemed to incite particularly loud squeals whenever I copped a direct hit.

And I copped loads of direct hits over the next few days.

I headed back to my beach camp, swam in the warm ocean, and then met Phak and Nancy at the bar, a beautiful young Thai couple from Bangkok. We had the best night ever together, with some other young Thai Uni students later on.

It was so enlightening talking to those guys all about Thai culture and contemporary Thai values, to get a real world perspective on things I’d already wondered about Thailand, especially about different cultural groups within Thailand, refugees, and racism, which is alive and well here.

Plus those guys love music. All sorts of music.

We drank copious amounts of beer.

Actually, they did. I drank slowly, as usual.

They, of course, paid for everything, including a huge array of amazing food from the restaurant.

I can’t get over people’s generosity sometimes.

We ended up at the beach singing, and crawled into our tents after 3am.

I was so glad there wasn’t gonna be a wake-up bell at 4am again.

They sent me this pic when they got back to Bangkok.

Another beautiful sunrise.

Ao Siam National Park

It was a beautiful ride north up the coast today, I was on the road by 9am, and there was almost no traffic whatsoever.

There were hardly any villages on the whole stretch, just beautiful forest, farms, and more stunning beaches.

I’d knocked off the 50 clicks to my destination before brunch. I’m such a superhero these days.

Ao Siam is a small national park with a beautiful little nature trail, and a little spot for camping.

I pitched my tent under this stunning tree

It feels like luxury. There’s actually proper showers here, unlike the last campsite, which really just had little tubs of water behind small bamboo walls, and hardly any water pressure to fill the tubs.

The showers here are cold of course, like everywhere, (except in the more fancy hotels). But you don’t need hot showers, it’s definitely hot enough already around here.

There’s a shady sala for me to sit in, which even has a power point to plug in my phone and iPad. And there’s mobile reception.

Everything I need!

I walked on the beautiful nature trail.

There were signs explaining the plants etc. The translations were particularly funny. You gotta read this one.

This is the rattan palm, the longest palm in the world. It’s traditionally used to make all sort of things, like furniture, baskets, woven mats, and anything else made of cane.

There was a tower you could climb to look over the first layer of forest canopy.

This is a type of rubber tree. Traditionally they would remove some of the sap from the tree to use to waterproof boats.

Another food gift

I aspire to look like this guy. This was the male sign at the toilets.

Bang Saphan

The national park is quite near a town called Bang Saphan, which is a really old school Thai town, like all the towns around here. There’s no tourists there.

I had dinner at this roadside eating place. Notice the white shaving cream on the car. I got hammered with it for Songkran, along with all sorts of coloured talcum powders and pastes.

There was a little festival going on at the local wat at night. It was so interesting.

The wat was lit up like Luna Park

Khanom la is a sweet made from rice flour.

Glutinous rice cakes

These teen girls were catching cheeky evasive fish to win prizes

For hatchet jobs

Khao niew (sticky rice) with beans. It comes with a smoky flavour, free of charge.

Old school Ferris wheel

Kids love jumping here too

Cute wat decorations

More Festivities

After camping out again I headed up the coast.

There’s a lot of these buildings along the road. They’re actually bird homes, built specifically to provide habitat for local species. I first noticed them because they play loud bird calls through speakers at the top, to attract birds.

Really long snake. Really dead too.

The coastline around here is particularly stunning, especially this stretch on the way to Bang Krut. It’s some of the nicest coastline I’ve seen in Thailand, which is saying something.

I noticed lots of loaded pickups heading along a small road to another beach.

I had to follow the Songkran action.

And action there was!

For the next two hours or so I ran the gauntlet of water bombs, high powered water guns and sloppy pasty face creams and talcum powders. (It really stings when it gets in your eyes).

It was next level Songkran again, the best fun ever.

Everyone was in the best of moods, some even had ice water to throw, or to slowly pour down my back or front. It was delicious.

And they were doing it in the most polite way, of course. They’re Thais, aren’t they?

They’d almost always say “dai mai?” (can I) to me first, because some weren’t sure whether a farang would like it or not.

But the fact that I was already totally saturated, with my face fully pasted, made it a bit easier for them to tell whether or not I was ok with it.

I was more than ok with it, I was into it!!

They would make me stop on the road, very gently put the paste all over my face, whilst wishing me “Sawat dii phimai” (happy new year) in a very sincere and gentle way. And then completely douse me with their water blessings.

It appeared that it was a privilege to them to be blessing others.

But for me it was definitely my privilege, to be blessed in such a sincere and warm way.

And then be smashed with water.

And for those Thais who didn’t want to get wet, no one would throw water over them at all. All the food stalls and other vendor stalls remained bone dry.

Of course, I learnt to put my phone in a waterproof bag the whole time, so I don’t have many pics of the festivities. But I did stop once or twice to try and capture a bit of the action.

This girl got me good.

And Bewdy copped it too. She said she liked it, as she was hot too.

By this stage most of the coloured pastes had been washed off my face by hundreds of water bombs.

Eventually I made it through the very slow crawl along the coast, and headed a little inland towards the town of Prachuap Khiri Khan.

Beautiful wat on the hill.

Accident on the highway. I saw two of them today. One involved three vehicles. I noticed that no one here takes pics of accidents.

Giant golden swan at Wat Huay Luek. It was built to provide a resting place for the deities, who visit here regularly. But I don’t think they were around today, I didn’t see any.

Brightening up the concrete

Prachuap Khiri Khan

And then I finally made it to this sizeable town, the largest I’ve been in since Chumphon.

I’m taking a rest day tomorrow, after all that hot riding.

The town’s right on the coast, and a bit of a haven for Thai tourists during the holiday season. I found a little cottage a bit out of town.

I noticed today that the air quality is slowly starting to worsen as I head north. A haze has appeared in the air that wasn’t there further south.

Unfortunately I sorta expect it to worsen as I head towards Bangkok, a combination of industrial and traffic pollution, and smoke from the burning off of crop remains before the rainy season.

It’s been a huge problem in central and northern Thailand this year. A few weeks back, Chiang Mai, the largest city in the north of the country (which isn’t that large), had the dubious honour of having the worst air quality of any city in the world, mainly due to crop burning. I met a few people in the south that temporarily left the north because it was too dangerous to be there.

The Songkran tourists were out in droves, it was really fun.

There was a major market going on, right on the beachfront. The stalls stretched along the coast as far as the lights in the distance. And then back the other way, nearly as far.

Of course, they were selling everything. I only picced a few things.

Didn’t try these. Probably taste like ocean.

Exotic fish

Ice blocks

Various fried bugs, including crickets, cockroaches and different types of grubs. There were no scorpions in this lot, which you sometimes see elsewhere. People actually do eat them.

This is more really delicious sticky rice bean sweets. Make sure you eat it before it dries out.

My dinner stall. I ordered fried vegies, plain rice, and two fried eggs. I got 2 plates of fried vegies, 2 plates of plain rice, and 2 fried eggs. Lost in translation.

I ate it all, I was absolutely starving.

Beautiful Chinese temple. I haven’t seen many of these lately.

Prachuap town beach during the day.

I had such an exotic day off. I did pretty much nothing, except eat, write, play guitar and rest. Atta boy.

To Khao Sam Roi Yot NP

And suddenly, everyone’s gone.

It’s amazing.

It’s like someone dropped a neutron bomb and all the humans were killed, but the buildings were left standing.

Well, neutron bombs don’t exactly do that, but sort of.

For long stretches on the back roads today I was the only vehicle. All of the thousands and thousands of Thai tourists that came down for Songkran have left without a trace, they’ve all returned to Bangkok, or to wherever else they came from.

It was super hot today, but really stunning riding.

The wat on the hill as I left Prachuap

Beautiful beach road north

Chinese cemetery a long way out of town

Rather impressive wat entrance

Most of the day I was riding super close to, or along, the coast

The farmer on the motorbike in the distance told me the road was a dead end. I’m glad he did. I’d missed my turnoff, and luckily had only gone a couple of clicks up this one when I passed him.

Stunning deserted roads to the national park.

And my delicious little spot for the night

Sunset out the back of the national park cafe.

I ate a lot.

My current eating rhythm is sorta weird.

I generally don’t eat at all until maybe 12 or 1, and then it’s just fruit and maybe some sort of snack.

About 4, or even later sometimes, once I’ve got to wherever I wanna be for the night, I pig out with one big meal.

I just don’t feel like eating at all in the morning, for some reason. Maybe it’s the heat, I’m not sure.

Crazy Bastards

I met a really interesting young Dutch couple last night at the campsite. They’re cycling too. Crazy bastards. Who’d do something so stupid?

Audrey and Eloy have cycled from Europe, through some of the places I wanna go, including Iran. I picked their brains. They’re so nice, giving me some useful tips and apps etc.

I’ve met a few cyclists lately, there’s a bunch in Thailand. They’re mostly all European, so they’re heading in the opposite direction to me. I haven’t met one person going in the same direction yet.

I met Belgian Thijs the other day. He’s a particularly crazy bastard, significantly crazier than most of the cyclists I’ve met so far.

He’s also cycled from Europe (bypassing Iran and Pakistan), but he cycled in India and Nepal, which can be particularly challenging. He actually rode all the way to Ladakh, from Manali, in India. And back. It’s a super tough steep ride through the Himalayas. Huge elevations, huge climbs, over some of the highest road passes on the planet. Nuts.

Thijs told me that when he was in Leh, Ladakh, there was a cycle road race. He decided to enter. The race route was ridiculous. Day one was 220km, with an overall climb of 3000m. Day two was the same distance, but with a climb of 4000m.

The race was packed full of Indian cyclists, with their swish carbon fibre super advanced expensive bikes.

Thijs won the race by 4 hours.

And all he’d wanted to do was finish it.

Winning that one so easily, now he wants to compete in the famous Race Across America, an ultra long distance cycle race from San Diego to Maryland, a distance of over 4800km, with an overall climb of 17,000m. It’s just totally batshit crazy.

Last year an Aussie guy, Allan Jefferson, won the race by cycling the distance in just over 10 days. That’s an average of 480km a day, with an average speed of 20km/hr. The first few days he was riding 22 hrs/day. Sounds like fun doesn’t it.

Allan, from Townsville, is 54, only 5 years younger than me.

Maybe I should enter the race myself next year.

Fuck that.

I can hardly think of anything worse.

Tham Phraya Khanom

OMG. Another sunrise. This is getting ridiculous.

The next morning I cycled to an amazing cave.

After my morning meditation and yoga ritual I packed up, whilst chatting with Audrey and Eloy, and then took off, without checking my tyre pressure.

As soon as I got on my bike I realised my front tyre was totally flat.

Hmmm.

Not surprising actually, the tyre’s been looking decidedly thin. I need to replace it.

But quite a blessing that the tyre was flat at that moment, in the shade, before I hit the hot hot tarmac.

There was a troop of monkeys in this tree in our campsite.

It was a seriously stunning ride to the caves. I hope you’re not too bored by all this magnificence.

Another fishing fleet. This coastline is absolutely teeming with sealife. Of every species you can imagine.

It was a tough hot climb to the cave.

With outrageously beautiful vistas on the way

Stunning reptilian companion

And then I entered the large cave, which was not completely enclosed, and magnificent.

Royal monograms from visits from previous kings. The one on the right is 130 years old, from King Rama V. The other is Rama VII’s monogram, from about 100 years ago.

Hua Hin

And then suddenly it was mid afternoon, and I was still over 50kms from my destination city of Hua Hin.

I hot footed it to there. Hot being the operative word.

It’s been stinkin’ hot lately, temperatures in the high 30s, but with humidity levels of 75-80%, which really drives that heat right into your body.

No matter how much I drink, at the end of a cycling day my piss is a deep yellow.

Just in case you wanted to know that.

I don’t care at all though, I just drink loads when I arrive and cool off.

Tbh Hua Hin is a Thailand that isn’t my favourite type of Thailand.

There’s loads of farang here. Loads of tourists, who often stay for a few months over the European winter, and loads of expat residents who live here permanently. In fact, over 4,000 Westerners reside here, most of them Scandinavians. And there’s quite a few Germans and Poms too.

Most of them are older men, retirees, in their 60s or 70s.

And the thing that strikes me is that just about every one of them strolls around the streets with a younger Thai woman by his side.

It’s sort of a shock to see it.

I’m not judging it, I understand it.

The women are there because it provides financial benefits, and much needed material things for them. At least for a while.

The men are there because it’s easy sex. Their hefty European pensions provide them with easy means to buy whatever they want here.

The men I talk to say that it’s actually a good arrangement for the women, they’re helping them out financially. I guess some of them actually believe that.

One even told me I should go to Vietnam instead, because the women are cheaper and better there.

For me personally, I can’t think of anything less appealing than knowing that the only reason my partner is by my side is because I have cash.

I learnt that lesson way back in my early days in Thailand, when I had a Thai girlfriend, who disappeared off the face of the earth when my cash ran out.

I thought she loved me, ha! How dumb was I?

I know that some mixed couples here end up having longer term relationships, and even have kids together. But that’s definitely the exception rather than the rule.

I took these 4 snaps in about 4 seconds, at the night markets

Also, the sheer number of Westerners here means that many of my own interactions with Thai people are actually quite different here.

Many Thais seem to be a little more impatient with me here, like they’re totally over having to deal with foreign tourists, and their unusual needs. I try to be super polite, it takes longer for them to warm to me around here, if they do at all.

Or they see me as a walking money belt, because the farang here have such full pockets, and are happy to throw their money around at European prices. That then becomes the going rate.

There’s lot of “girlie bars” too, bars with sexy young women trying to entice men in, for whatever they want.

It’s really weird to be overtly sexually propositioned many times by women outside these bars, or outside “massage” places every night, as I walk or cycle past.

It creates a weird vibe, all those fake smiles, pretend sexy voices and upper leg flashes. It’s just a game for money, pretty shallow.

If only there were other ways for these women to make a decent amount of cash, I know they wouldn’t be here for dust.

The Western invasion here also means there’s so much cash in this town that they’ve built ritzy shopping malls, expensive clubs and restaurants, and yeah, everything is at least double or triple the price of what you’d pay outside of town. It’s crazy.

It’s especially strange for me, having come from the mostly very cheap, relatively undeveloped, backwaters of southern Thailand.

It’s taken me a couple of days to get used to it.

Hua Hin’s proximity to Bangkok (only about 200km away) also means that middle class and wealthy Thai people come here to holiday for the weekend and spend their cash. Or to open businesses here.

So the economy is booming. Money is pouring out of people’s pockets like there’s no tomorrow.

My little guest house is on this street, really close to the beach. I’m in a little shoebox with a fan, I’m fine with that. There’s just enough room for me to do yoga, alongside my single bed.

I can’t swing a rat though.

The Hilton is 2 minutes away

And this is 2 doors down from the Hilton

Around my corner

Portrait of the former king, dressed like a Scandinavian expat

Bustling night market.

Buddha battalions

Seafood delicacies

Crispy dead pig

I love these. I love Picasso’s unique style and colour.

It’s a shame he was such a misogynistic wanker.

One of Picasso’s female muses went crazy, another became a recluse, and two killed themselves. Not a great record Pablo, you Narcissistic dickhead.

His granddaughter said he autographed all his works with the blood of people who loved him. What a guy.

He probably would’ve got along famously with Donald Trump and his mate Jeffrey Epstein.

Shame he was such a great artist.

I found this 100% Vegetarian Approved non-vegetarian Indian restaurant. Go figure. The food was delicious.

Yeah, I know there’s ice in my beer glass. It doesn’t take long for beer to get hot around here, even at night. Thai-ishness is rubbing off on me.

The guy at the bike shop told me about this local yokel eating place. I was happy to see that at least they still exist in this town.

But this is more common. A food court in a cool, air conditioned ritzy shopping mall.

Golfing store. There’s loads of excellent golf courses here for all those farangs.

One of the many laneways in the redlight redeye district.

Fireworks stall

You can imagine how loud these buggers are

Young busker playing a khim, a Thai-style zither, played with 2 light bamboo sticks, with leather bits at the end, to soften the sound.

The Rails is pretty empty tonight

Entrance to a Chinese district

I hung out with a lovely couple a few times in Hua Hin, Beatrice and Dimitri, and their young son Jaz. Beatrice is from Brest, in France, her husband Dimitri’s from Martinique, in the Caribbean.

They lived in the Caribbean for a while, but are back in Brest these days. They have three kids of their own, and also adopted Audrey’s sister’s 4 kids when she tragically died, about 15 years ago.

Sounds pretty busy doesn’t it.

But they’re happy. She works helping marginalised people back in France, he runs his own business, and is also a muay Thai trainer in France (kickboxing).

They came here so Dimitri could spend time with his muay Thai guru, a really famous young guy called Pisit Kambang.

Two of the boys started a band, Brest Family Gang (BFG)

The previous king, Bhumipol, with his son, the current king, Vajiralongkorn, being saxy.

Having Affairs

Yeah, when you’re on the road you’re still not completely free of the grinding administration of life.

Unfortunately.

So a couple of days in this little town, not travelling, has given me time to catch up on some of my worldly affairs.

(If only I was having a real worldly affair).

No, that’s actually a lie. I absolutely love being on my own right now.

So I’ve got myself a Thai visa extension, been sorting out a few future travel plans with family and friends, future visas, bicycle repairs and servicing, repairs to my personal chattels, replacing some dead clothes, and other affairs of that sort.

I’ve even been writing a will.

You never know.

I’d better not die before 2 Aussies witness and sign it.

Hmmm. I’ve hardly met an Aussie this whole year so far. I’m forgetting how to speak Strine.

I’m now rather concise, clear, and well spoken, when I communicate in my native tongue.

I’ve become decidedly more couth.

It’s fuckin scarin the livin shit outa me, I need to get back to me fuckin roots.

The visa extension in Hua Hin was so straightforward I had to chuckle. The Immigration Office is a glassy shopfront in a ritzy shopping mall, Blueport, and the whole process took me about 30 minutes.

What a breeze!

The most important woman in the office was the cashier. She was taking in so much cash I almost gasped. My 30 day extension cost me AUD85. That’s a lot.

The office was full of chairs, occupied by elderly Westerners, whose visas and visa extensions were costing considerably more than that.

Thailand offers a 90 day retiree visa for people over 50, which is extendable. It costs around AUD120 for the initial visa, and there are certain conditions attached (eg. proof of travel insurance, etc).

The Thai government understands that tourism, and, more particularly, longer term retirement tourism, is a very lucrative money generating business for itself.

On top of that, farang spending pumps billions into the general economy every year.

And they’re going hell-for-leather trying to encourage it.

A Cyclist’s Dream

I thought I might take this opportunity to tell you how perfect Thailand is to travel around on a bike.

Have I mentioned that already?

Firstly, the roads are excellent.

Even the smallest of backroads is generally paved. And the unpaved roads I’ve been on are quite good as well.

It’s only roadworks that are an issue here, and there’s lots of those. The gravel can be super dodgy on those bits, but they’re rarely more than a few kms or so at a stretch.

Thai drivers are relatively careful and polite. Outside of the big cities.

In the cities they do dodgy things sometimes, like zip past too close, or cut you off when they’re turning, or pull out right in front of you (which is sorta their right of way - not officially, but unofficially).

Outside of the cities though, they appear pretty watchful and careful of farangs.

The highways and more major roads always have nice chunky smooth shoulders for cyclists and motorcyclists.

It feels super safe and easy.

Some people in this country are pretty well off, relative to some other Southeast Asian countries, and pretty much all the people, wealthy or not, are super generous and friendly.

Splitting bills is an absolute no-no in this part of the world.

Of course, there’s plenty of poor areas, often in the northern and western hill tribe areas, or generally in rural Thailand, or areas where whole classes of people are relatively uneducated or have come here as refugees.

Like Burmese people, for example.

But the country feels totally safe. I rarely lock my bike up during the day. On more than one occasion I’ve left my iPhone on its stand on the bike handlebars by mistake, and gone off to shop or eat, and it’s still there when I get back.

Maybe I’m just lucky!

I know that some theft exists in traveller destinations in Thailand, with people’s things occasionally being swiped from their island bungalows etc.

But in small town Thailand that never happens. Not that I’ve ever seen or heard about anyway.

I’ll happily leave my tent full of my stuff and go off for a hike or swim or whatever, without a thought.

And on top of all that, camping is a dream here.

You can camp anywhere, no one seems to care.

And there’s always so many spots to choose from, especially along the coast.

The national park campsites are beautiful, shady, well maintained and well organised.

And empty.

Sometimes they have little eating stalls or small restaurants.

I can always filter the water from the tanks with my portable small hiking water filter, it’s good water.

And the campsites cost about a dollar a night.

The showers and toilets there are often better quality than the guest houses I stay in.

The country’s populated enough so that there’s food pretty much everywhere, except in the massive tracts of national parks and forests, many of which don’t have roads through them anyway, or in poorer rural parts where no tourists ever go, and hardly anyone eats out.

They’ve got filtered water dispenser machines on the roads in many places. It’s 1 baht per litre, which is about 4c.

Otherwise I just take water straight out of the taps and filter it. It’s perfect.

Everything in this country’s super cheap, outside of the cities.

Yeah, knowing a bit of the local lingo makes a huge difference. But there’s always Google Translate. Most people can read (not all). If not I just play the audio.

But in the World Cycling Premier League table, Thailand is currently leading the pack as Numero Uno best cycling country on this trip so far.

I know it’s champion status will be usurped on this trip at some point, but, given that it’s so good here, I’m really looking forward to that.

Gotta Get Drastic With The Plastic

However one thing that needs urgent reform in this country is the amount of single use plastic waste everyone generates every single day.

It’s crazy, and unfortunately, it’s everywhere.

When you buy anything from a roadside stall, a shop, a supermarket, absolutely anywhere, they put it in a plastic bag. Often 2 or 3, if there's separate items that they deem shouldn’t be mixed.

No one carries their own reusable bags to avoid the plastic.

If you sit down at a roadside stall to have a drink, they’ll normally serve it to you in a large plastic cup, with a plastic lid, a plastic straw, and a plastic bag around the lot, even if you’re seated at a table.

You may have seen a lot of my pics of them already.

There’s no sense whatsoever of the long term consequences of all this.

They even often do that in high turnover restaurants as well, and in food courts.

It’s ridiculous, and so blatantly unnecessary.

Whatever happened to washing glasses and cups? And real cutlery?

It’s not like they’re short of labour or anything around here.

And yeah, of course, with practises like that, you can imagine the amount of plastics pollution that’s generated by Thailand’s 72m people every single day.

While the country has an official target of having 100% recycling of plastic waste within 5 years, I find it really hard to see that happening, unfortunately.

Many people, young and old, still throw their rubbish on the ground, anywhere.

After stopping for drinks sometimes, I give my empty plastic cups back to the vendors. Sometimes they just throw them straight into the bush.

Ouch.

Everyone buys plastic bottles for drinking water, if they’re on the move.

There’s a huge need for a widespread national education campaign around plastics use and rubbish disposal.

At least many restaurants and smaller eating places often have jugs with filtered water on their tables.

At least that.

It’s good water, and they serve it with good ice, in actual real glasses or tin (or plastic) reusable mugs.

And there’s the water machines I already mentioned, on the roads.

There’s really not many options to fix this problem, the only real fix is to gradually impose a tiered ban on plastics, and enforce it.

Thais are incredible improvisers.

Biodegradable packaging materials would replace the infinitely indestructible ecokiller plastics within no time.

It’s not bloody rocket science.

Heading to Phetchaburi

I was happy to leave Hua Hin, get back to normal Thailand, and get out into the bush again.

As usual, it was stinking hot. The current temperatures are brutal here, there’s an unprecedented heat wave going on.

The whole of Asia is cooking, with record breaking temperatures all over the place.

At last I can openly say that this heatwave is a direct result of climate change caused by human activities, and very few people would disagree with me.

It only took 4 decades for the fuckers to finally listen to the science.

So I stuck to the coast where I could, as usual, heading north.

The next major beach resort town I hit is called Cha Am.

Saturday arvo, and it’s super busy. Bangkokheads come to places like this for the weekends, it’s less than 200kms away.

Well, they’re officially called Bangkokians, but it’s not my fave term. At least Bangkokies would be better, even though they’re the opposite of rural folk.

And some of them are definitely Bangcoquettes.

The beach is jam packed full of shady spots, which you pay to sit in. Then you get waited on, hand and foot, with your servants running all over the place to get you whatever your heart desires, drinks, snacks, purchases, massive restaurant meals, massages. You name it.

Finally, after a few km, the beach cleared out a little

Resorts like this litter the coast. Litterally.

And then the coast road temporarily ended, and guess what I found? A bike track! Wow! Not even motorbikes are allowed on it (which doesn’t stop the local motorbike riders from using it). In Thailand rules are made to be broken.

Well, some of them are, particularly if they relate to traffic regulations.

The country up here is as dry as a bone at the moment.

I considered camping here, but there was a slow flowing creek and so potential mozzies.

So I kept going, and found a far more beautiful place, right under the trees, cooled and mozzie-proofed by a strong sea breeze.

There was no hot food, but a small shop nearby, I had to settle for 2-minute rice soup, crisps and a bubblegum ice cream. It all hit the spot.

They should introduce 2-min rice into Australia. What a great healthy flavoursome alternative competitor to 2-minute noodles!

It could become the next Coke-Pepsi marketing duel.

Local buckaroo

Another glorious sunrise. My tent got hot early. Casuarinas, even older ones, can often be a bit light in the shade department.

My sweet canine guard

Peace and love from local village women.

And this is their extensive catch, out there drying quickly.

Another fleeting glimpse.

Saltworks.

They sometimes use a helluva lot of it in the cooking around here, I might add. And MSG.

Iced tea stop, cha yen, at Chaosamran beach. Sunday late morning, and every Thom, Diik and Aari is here on the beach.

Every lunchtime the sea breeze kicks in, and it’s a relief.

Phetchaburi

This is old school Thailand, despite being quite close to Bangkok. In the hot mid afternoon I finally made it to my family guest house.

Before the tsunami

There’s an amazing old wat right in town, Wat Mahathat  Worawihan, which has beautiful ancient chedis.

Phetchaburi’s a small-ish Thai town, it feels really authentic, you know, like country towns in Australia that haven’t been overrun by tourists or development.

As usual I found a great little eating place, and did my usual deed of wandering the streets buying fruit, snacks and anything else I could think of to put into my mouth.

Sunday late afternoon, downtown

My ritzy eating hole

I don’t know about you, but this guy scares me. I think he’s another Slytherin. They’re everywhere.

The clearance shelf at CJ’s supermarket. Just for interest.

To Ratchaburi

Every day amazing things happen.

I mean, that’s true wherever you are, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

But out here in rural Thailand the amazingness seems to be right in my face.

Regularly.

Today I rode off from Phetchaburi around 11.30.

It was so hard to get away from my beautiful family guest house.

A young woman there had whipped up the most amazing breakfast, and had also been out shopping to get extra special treats like banana leaf sweets, some amazing coconut porridge sweet thingy, small bread rolls and loads of fruit.

Add that to the fresh orange juice, yoghurt, and, of course instant coffee, tea and Ovaltine, and you can understand why it took me awhile to get out of there.

When I finally did, the day hit me like a bomb.

It was so blistering hot early, and it just got hotter all day.

But the great thing about cycling is that when you’re on the road you actually unwittingly become a human evaporative air conditioner.

As soon as you start pushing those pedals you start to sweat, and because you’re travelling at 15-25km/hr on the flat roads around here, you immediately have a breeze moving through your body, no matter what the actual wind conditions are.

Breeze on water = evaporation = cooler skin = aaaahhh.

It’s way cooler than walking.

So as soon as I hit the road there were more salt fields.

It’d be tough every day out here for these guys.

Amazing Thing Number One: I just happened to pass an incredible brand spanking new amazing sparkling temple complex, a Thai/Chinese Buddhist temple called Wat Phet Suwan.

It was so magnificent.

So massive.

And out in the middle of complete nowhere, nothing else around for miles.

I thought the monk meditating was a wax figure at first. Then I thought, nah it couldn’t be.

So I left him alone.

Then later I was checking out the wat online and saw a photo of the exact same dude in the exact same spot. I compared the 2 pics meticulously and realised they were exactly the same. He must be wax.

I think.

He didn’t move an iota when I was there. Although I guess that’s possible for a person deep in meditation. At least for quite long periods of time.

Anyway if he is wax it’s pretty weird.

And if he’s not, well, sorry, no offence Ajahn, but maybe you should get out more.

Anyway the place was so stunning.

Even Buddha needed some sun protection today.

On a pretty deserted main road I came across quite a large local food market, you know, one of those weekly ones, just a conglomeration of rickety tents and umbrellas and stalls and lots of local people of course.

Which is where Amazing Thing Number 2 happened.

I got some food and then ordered a cha yen (iced tea) from an older man at a little drinks stall, and asked where I could eat my food, as there were no sitting places around.

He immediately jumped off his chair, put it in the shade for me, and insisted I sit there, next to him and his wife.

They were the sweetest people ever.

We chatted for a bit. As usual, they were overcome with amazement at what I was doing. I kept trying to tell them it was nothing special, which they took as me just being humble.

Humble? Ha! They don’t know me at all.

When I finished my tea the old man refilled it, for free of course, with more crushed ice, then 10 minutes later he refilled it again - it was stinking hot, and I was super thirsty.

Then he insisted I take a large bottle of iced water with me (yes!!), gave me some rambutans, and sent me off with the most beautiful gracious feeling ever.

This may feel like minor generosity to you, and not so amazing. But for me, it’s people like this man and his ever smiling gentle wife, poor villagers with wide open generous hearts, that make life unbelievably beautiful for me.

Wide river delta

And the view the other way

Domestic violets

My first sign to Bangers

Another cycle track. Thailand’s advanced.

Traffic monitor. Poor fella. I saw a bunch of live ones scooting around too.

Then I spent a few kms on this busy, noisy road.

These rambutan stall holders were out in the hot sun, breathing in vehicle fumes and being blasted by the noise of heavy vehicles.

All day I guess.

Tough.

I was happy to veer off the highway when I could.

Then it was suddenly beautiful lush rice fields, a complete surprise.

I haven’t seen green like this for months. It’s all irrigated of course.

I passed through a few tiny towns on the way, many with old teak buildings like these.

And then suddenly I was at a real hotel.

Very Harvey Weinstein.

Eeyughh...!!

Wow, what’s that thing in the distance? Is it a cloud? I’m not sure, I’ve forgotten what they look like.

Ratchaburi clock tower

My dinner. Fried rice with egg/vegies and soft tofu soup. Yum.

Big market eating hall, where I was sitting

You can use coin powered washing machines like these all over the country, outside on streets in towns and cities.

But because I’m cycling, my clothes get so filthy I’m in the habit of scrubbing them myself. Regularly.

Ratchaburi’s another old school Thai town, no farangs about, and very little English.

That makes me really love it.

The End Of This Road

So Ratchaburi’s only 100kms from Bangkok, and, after tasting hot stinky noisy highway traffic for awhile yesterday, I’ve decided to leave this last stretch of road to the trucks and buses and take a train into Bangkok instead.

My riding journey through southwestern Thailand is over.

Wow.

Already.

So fast.

So many things have happened over the last two months on the road here.

I’ve made connections with the most amazing people, seen the most incredible things, and I’ve learnt so much.

It’s funny.

All material things eventually disappear, but experiences never really do.

They linger, because they’ve changed you, they’ve graced you with beautiful, unerasable memories.

Unerasable at least until I die.

But I’ve got many things to do before then, if I can.

Right now, it’s time for me to bellyflop right into the vast megapolis of the City of Angels❤️