Kinh Kỳ

Parts 1 to 4

This is one hell of a fascinating city. I absolutely love it here.

Look, I know that I generally say those exact words within the first few days of arriving pretty much anywhere, but I've already been here a few days and I'm still saying it.

Yeah, I've been to Hanoi before, and, as I've been repeating ad nauseum about many places on this trip, it's unrecognisable these days.

The old Hanoi that I first visited was pretty much bicycle only, I rode here all the way from Thailand in the 90s, and it was quiet, interesting, cultured and beautiful.

These days it's noisy, interesting, cultured and beautiful.

Motorbikes are everywhere. Cars are nearly everywhere. Bicycles are almost nowhere.

And there's also a seedy side to this kinh kỳ (Vietnamese for capital city), but the seediness is not as in-your-face as it is in Ho Chi Minh City, the country's surrogate southern capital.

Riding a bike here can be challenging, but I'm sorta used to it. Generally speaking. I just do what the motorbikes do. I take off fast when the lights turn green, already having positioned myself in amongst them somewhere near the front of the queue. That way I avoid all the turning traffic that enters the intersection from the wrong direction after the lights change.

I don't hesitate. I often keep moving, or even speed up, rather than slow down in any situation involving another vehicle or pedestrian. Because that's what they do, and that's what they expect me to do. Of course, sometimes that's not possible, but almost always it is, surprisingly. The traffic just flows, noone seems to ever really stop, except at traffic lights (if that).

The Old Quarter

I found myself a reasonable room, scraped Mother Earth from my skin and hair, locked up my bike, and immediately went off to explore this hugely interesting district on feet.

My new home street.

Fishmongers across the road.

I found a great spot for food straight away, in fact it's right next door. Now that's handy innit. A big plate of steamed rice with various vegetable offerings plus an omelette and a couple of boiled eggs, all for the bargain price of 30,000Đ, about $1.80 Oz. This place is a real find, because I know that in this tourist district most plates will probably cost three times that, at least.

And won't necessarily be as good.

Filtered drinking water on the street. So good. Not that I personally need it, I have my own water filter, and just filter tap water everywhere (except in some places in India). But free drinking water is a great service in these parts.

Theatre for classical Vietnamese opera, called hát tuồng.

By the way, if you think I'm particularly fussy about all the accents and squiggles all over Vietnamese words, I'm not. I inadvertently made what turned out to be a smart decision by uploading a Vietnamese keyboard onto my iPad, and whenever I type in a word it recognises, it kindly doodles in the squiggles. I never check if it's right, sorry to all you multitudes of Vietnamese speakers.

Trapped beauty

Trophy and banner shop

Cyclo city

Loads of bloomin lamps

A tinsmith not making something out of tin. One street, Hang Thiếc, is full of the stuff.

Paper burners. In the evenings I often see people burning fake money in burners on the street. Or other paper things. Some people here believe that if they do this the burning items will be received by their relatives in the afterlife.

Stickers galore

Stunning lantern displays

The huge Dong Xuan market

In the 'shroom room

These aren't bananas, but "Buddha hands," tay Buddha. They're not edible, but have a beautiful fragrance, and are used for temple offerings and displays, especially during Tết, the huge Vietnamese New Year celebrations.

Stink zone

Medicinal wood and bark

Decorated palm fruit temple offerings

Dried berries

Pickling veggies

Chopping delicious bamboo shoots

Tofu

You can't get it much fresher than this.

The worm thingies looked like swimming millipedes, with legs everywhere.

Raw, cooked or gizzards? I'm sure they could sell the trotters without the nail polish.

Unless of course the poor pigettes had dressed themselves up for their own slaughter. Sorry, that was a bit tongue-out-of-cheek.

Snail pails

What a bloody job

One of the few remaining ancient city wall remnants, the East Gate.

Eggsellent collection

A type of jasmine flower, all bursting with fragrance

Bach Ma temple is the oldest temple in Hanoi, and guards the eastern part of the old city from evil spirits. There's three other guarding temples in the city, in each different direction.

It was built in the 11th Century, after Emoeror Ly Thai To had a dream that a white horse showed him where to build the city walls.

This is the horse, smack bang in the centre of the temple.

I really wanted to hug this guy, his body shape perfectly matches the opposite of mine. His convex belly would fit perfectly into that con cave of mine.

Many temples have prolifically fruiting grapefruit trees in their gardens at the moment.

Another Old Quarter temple

Woman with her mobile hardwares

Check out the size of the rat traps. If they're rat traps that is.

Wall-on-wall cafés

Interesting name for a sports store. Uomo means man in Italian. Man & Sexy. Korea. Now that's cryptic.

I found another amazing place to eat authentic flavoursome cheap veg food. Fresh spring rolls and a killer veggie phở, jam packed with delicious mushrooms and tofu.

Around the corner from my place

Vis-à-vis A Visa

So the time had come for me to bite the bullet, swallow a particularly bitter pill, get my long finger out of my skinny butt and just bloody knuckle down. I couldn't procrarsetinate any longer.

In order to get a Chinese visa, I was required to provide proof that I'd paid for flights into and out of the country, booked all intercity transport within China, and booked every single night's accommodation for the whole 60 days of my requested visa period.

I had to provide photocopies of previous Chinese visas, none of which appear in my current passport, as well as answer all sorts of other questions, provide a lot of personal details, yada yada yada and yada.

Fucking hell, bureaucracy is one ravenous beast.

So off burrowing I went, into a deep dark cyber cave, only to reappear, wait for it, eight whole hours later, with everything pretty much ready to rock'n'roll.

Besides the actual document printing and getting passport photos done of course, which had specific requirements etc etc.

After that dizzying night I got all the remaining tasks done in the morning, and trundled off on my wheels to the China Visa Center, which processes applications on behalf of the Chinese embassy here.

There were a few minor hitches, one of which involved me needing to print out a few more docs, which the agent said I could do right away, and then return straight to his counter window, instead of having to again wait in the numbered queue.

So I did the printing and returned, but, lo and behold, he'd decided to go to lunch hadn't he, and was nowhere to be seen for the next hour. I couldn't progress any further until he returned, which he eventually did. He unapologetically took the required extra docs, and flicked me over to the next person and process.

Anyway, I got out of there eventually, and now have all of my digits and any extra flexible extremities crossed, hoping that my 60 day request will be granted. I need to return to the Visa Center in a few days to collect my passport.

I'm so so happy it's done.

It's all in the lap of the Goddesses now.

Time Is The Essence

It ain't just of the essence.

It's so very precious. And I, to my endless amazement and gratitude, am currently blessed with lots of it.

I could go somewhere else while I wait for the return of my passport. But it took me all of two minutes to feel into that idea before I realised that I just wanna be here.

With no program.

So I've been exploring the delectable streets of this amazing city.

Hanoi reminds me of Bangkok, but in a poorer-cousin kinda way. Don't get me wrong, there's bucketloads of Đong ricocheting all around this city, but the physical development isn't so homogenously big, modern and shiny, like much of newer Bangkok.

Hanoi was French remember, and the Froggies were here for over six decades, and built a huge number of French-style colonial buildings, from grand government and public edifices to apartments, villas, markets, railway stations, and all sorts of other colonial buildings.

The French also trained generations of architects, designers and builders in the European style, so even after they were booted out their architectural and aesthetic influences remained. And still do.

There's so many beautiful districts in this city, and I'm in one of them right now. I'm on the western edge of what's known as the Old Quarter, which is really a bit of a fuzzy term, because so many districts are old in this city, and look quite similar to this one.

Passport photo shop. And photoshop. Yes, he was actually airbrushing my messy hair out of my passport pic. Really. So bloody funny. And so sweet of him, trying to help me. Blog Hanoi 2

Sprat! (Vietnamese English pronunciation).

Bucketloads of bouquets

Fresh soya milk.

Imagine the boring conversations after a few cocktails

There's an infinite number of cafés in this city. And many of them are set up in the Parisienne way - with tables outside facing the pavement, so you can sit and people-watch all day.

Despite the cool weather at the moment, everyone still seems to hang outside all the time.

Across from the end of my street

Old Quarter night markets

Ta Hiện, the Khaosan Road of Hanoi

These guys were playing soft rock, Vietnamese style, complete with screaming melodic guitar solos and excruciatingly predictable chord progressions. And that's without me even understanding the what-must-be unbearably cheesey lyrics.

This is also the kinky part of this kinh kỳ. I've had numerous men come up to me and show me photos of semi or fully naked women on their phones, and ask me "you wanna girl?"

"Errr, no thanks mate. Hey, you wanna know about the real impacts of the industry you're in buddy?"

On Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights many roads around Ta Hiện, and those close to Hoàn Kiếm Lake are blocked to vehicles, and become major pedestrian hangout zones. It's generally really nice and chilled. More cities should do that sort of thing, it makes the place infinitely more liveable. Ta Hiện itself gets a bit crazy, but the other streets are much more relaxed.

Smoking tobacco through large wooden pipes is a thing in this country. Lots of people do it. I'll even have the occasional puff when someone kindly offers, cos, you know, it's nice to be cancerous together.

Loads of bubble tea stalls. You can actually get the exact Thai type, cha yen, which they call trà sữa here. It's basically an iced sweet milky tea, with a particularly delicious unique Thai tea flavour. Ues, there really is a Goddess.

Octopus seedlings

Colonial buildings

And modern colonials

These guys were absolutely fantastic, playing old rhythmically catchy droney Vietnamese folk songs on traditional instruments and an electric keyboard.

The blind keyboard player was amazing, simultaneously playing melody lines and deep bass lines, whilst also using certain keys for percussive sounds like cymbals and bells. He was a wonder. A Stevie Wonder even. It was an absolute treat to sit and watch the band for awhile.

I danced with these ladies for a bit, later on.

Amazing stringed instrument, called a đan nguyệt, it sounds a bit like an oud, with the upper string having quite a low-pitch and a super rich tone. It sounded beautiful. The dude frequently bent the strings too, as did both vocalists with their voices, and as the keyboard player did with his pitch modifier. So you get this amazing fluid pitch vibe all over the place, it sounds ancient and mysterious, but vibey at the same time.

The golden globes

Trains still run along this track, and an enterprising café owner realised a few years back that the novelty of trains running so close to cafe tables could potentially become a tourist drawcard.

He was right on track, because after his Insta promotion the whole place exploded with visitors, and now every Mon, Bec and Sally wants to get a selfie with themselves and one of the slowly moving passenger trains about to run them over.

It sorta makes me laugh, not the fact that it looks cool when the trains go past, (because it does), but the fact that people crowd there forever just for the perfect pic. And, in fact, getting a good pic sometimes becomes more important than the actual experience of sitting there and watching and feeling the train inch past.

I mean blah blah, I can talk. I take loads of pics.

The Temple Of Literature

This amazing ancient temple is dedicated to Confucius, and to the teachers, students and very profound Confucian teachings themselves.

One of the main Confucian teachings is "do not do unto others that which you would not want others to do unto you." Sounds logical.

And also sounds like those tricky Christians stole it, because this is also a prime tenet of Christianity, believe it or not. Confucius lived about 500 years before Christ.

Confucianism also has a strong belief in ancestor worship, and in the importance of leading a virtuous life.

The Temple of Literature was built in 1070 by Emperor Lý Thành Thông, and actually hosted the country's first university, the Imperial University, which was open for studies for over 700 years.

Garden entrance

Outer gate

The whole interior is a series of gardens, ponds and ancient buildings, including temples, residences, learning spaces, and other buildings.

Layered Emperor. You may need your 3D glasses to see the perspective.

Ancient tablet. These documented all the graduates of the University. There were three categories of people who weren't allowed to study there - criminals, musicians and singers, and those in mourning. I can easily understand why they excluded musos and singers (not virtuous or humble enough), but why criminals and mourners?

Actually there was a fourth exclusion category - women. But that goes without saying. It's obvious that unless you have an inverted vaginal passage and external ovaries you definitely won't have the mettle for such rigorous studies.

Ancient woodblock for printing texts. They'd paint black ink over it, and then press paper onto it using a roller.

Exam time. They stopped students from cheating by isolating them in their very own ricepaper hiking tents.

Kids practising their calligraphy with water brushes. They were quite good.

Bonsai's big here. Well, not the trees themselves.

Craniosacred

Emperors and teachers

This little toddler was trying to feed his little stuffed rabbit to the turtle.

I wish they'd had this sign up at the bhang lassi shop in Varanasi.

Gritty guardian

Contemporary art

A new take on a famous Vietnamese folk painting called Rat's Wedding, which was originally painted over 500 years ago.

Local artist's version of Three Beauties Of The Present Day, inspired by Japanese artist Kitagara Utamaro.

Banyan fig in a village

Magnificent ancient rooftop

The thing to do is throw money on the roof, and all your prayers will be answered. I was tempted to just answer my own prayers and take the cash.

Exquisite ancient and grand woodwork

Bellweather

I so much wanna hear this drum being played. It's so huge, the 2 skins stretched across the ends of the wide barrel were once stretched around 2 huge buffaloes.

Hoàn Kiếm Lake

Hanoi is blessed with a whole stack of beautiful lakes, parks and gardens. Lying at roughly sea level, the whole city area is part of the Red River Delta, a huge flat sea-level food basket, criss-crossed by many canals and waterways. The Red River runs right through the city.

Hanoi was severely damaged by the relentless US bombing campaign in the late 60s and early 70s, and some of it has been completely rebuilt. But many of the open spaces have become beautiful gardens and public spaces.

Hoàn Kiếm Lake is a relatively small but very beautiful lake on the edge of the Old Quarter. It's a stunning and peaceful place to hang out, and many people gather there in the evenings, especially on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights, when many roads in the area are blocked to traffic.

The legend goes that King Le Lời met a golden turtle god while he was out on a boat there one day in 1428, and the god asked him to return a magic sword, which he'd used to defeat the Chinese Ming Dynasty in a battle. The King returned the sword, and renamed the lake Ho Hoàn Kiếm, Lake of the Returned Sword.

There's parks, gardens and cafés all around the lake, buskers gather to entertain the masses, people practice tai chi or do their fitness or jogging thing, families gather with their kids to stroll and play.

The nearby St Joseph's Cathedral, built in the 1880s, is a hub of the Catholic community here. It's unsurprisingly bustling on a Sunday.

They went to extraordinary lengths to stop people biting their nails in those days. I don't think it would work for me, personally. I'm sure I'd find a way.

Despite its rather unspectacular exterior, the inside of the cathedral is quite stunning, with some amazing stained glass art, which looks decidedly  unstained, given its age.

Christians didn't necessarily have it that easy during some historical periods. But what they'd already done to believers of other religions is completely another martyr.

Believers gathering en masse post mass

Buddhist temple around the corner

Something old something new

Downtown Hanoi in the early 1900s

And now

International Women's Day is, appropriately, a widely celebrated event around here

I watched a dance being filmed for an ad

Remote controlled vehicles for kid fun

Start 'em young, that's what I reckon

This girl just wouldn't smile, despite her mum's valiant efforts

This Emperor was the first ruler of the Lý dynasty, in the early 1000s, and actually moved the capital from Hoa Lư (which I visited, near Tam Coc), to Hanoi, which was then called Thang Long.

French era

Soviet era

Bo bia, a yummy sweet, basically a sort of crunchy rice paper roll stuffed with grated coconut and these sweet thin crispy wafers. And that's not mouse shit in there, but black sesame seeds.

These little artworks are actually made of plasticine

Parents buy them for their kids, who sit at little tables on the street and try to recreate them. Or just pull them apart and make something else.

The Monument of Determined to Brave Death. Great name. This was erected after the First Indochina War, to commemorate the sacrifices the Viets made in finally kicking out the French.

Carpe Diebus

No, don't die on the bus Carpy.

Seize the days.

I'm so loving my time here in Hanoi. There's so much to see, to do, to eat and to drink. There's 5 million locals to meet, and, wait for it, 9,000 new foreign tourists arriving here every single day. I've met a bunch already, it's been so nice.

Around the corner from my place Blog Hanoi 3

A non-touristy part of the railway line

Incredible jade sculptures

I love the Disinterested bit.

Gaudy art shops

French style extravagance.

Yeah, it does look rather doji.

Ga Hanoi, the Hanoi Railway Station. They stole the word gare (railway station) from their French colonisers. The old French-designed station was destroyed during the war, and this is the Soviet-era replacement.

Jelly coffee. Lali and I went to Highlands Coffee a few times when she came to visit me in the south, all those months ago. I had to return as a memento to us.

My late lunch staple. It's called bánh mì ốp la in the south, but when I first used that term here they didn't know what the hell I was talking about. So I just ask for a baguette with egg and veggies/salad or a bánh mì trứng rau. So cheap and so good. I know all the food words because I've used them every day for a while now.

There's always coriander floating around in the food here. It's a great thing.

Walled in

The Supreme Court. Whilst in theory Vietnam has an independent judiciary, the fact is that the ruling party selects all the judges. Say no more.

Ok I won't.

Say any more.

Nothing at all.

Ubiquitous and ancient Vietnamese bouncy bamboo transport method

My latest fave, tra quạt, black tea with kumquat

Beautiful old buildings

Not Done Yet

I still have things to do in this amazing city.

I need to get my bike serviced, poor Bewdy really has been through the wringer. I need to wait for my China visa. I need to buy a few things I won't be able to get in the countryside, and organise things for the China trip, including sorting out VPNs and registering for certain payment apps etc that I can't necessarily do once I get inside the country.

What an absolute bummer.

I'll have to stay here for a few more days.

It's so sad.

But hey, I'll just have to grin and share it ❤️

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