From Heart To Mouth

It’s been a really special couple of days.

I’m beaming from belly to face.

It’s sorta hard to describe how good it feels when a group of people take it upon themselves to make you feel as good as they possibly can, to try and cater for your every possible need, to even guess in advance what those needs might be, and then offer things to you before you’ve even thought you might want them.

Genuine first class hospitality is so humbling.

I rode off this morning feeling so good about life, and about the people in this place.

To Cát Minh

So I left Quy Nonh yesterday, having wanted to get a bit of bike servicing done while I was there (eg. brakes), but then getting distracted and gallivanting about with Russell instead.

The repairs are gonna have to wait.

It was a stunning ride all day, on the quietest of back roads. It was really hot, as usual, but there was a bit of cloud cover for awhile, and quite a strong wind for most of the day, which took a little edge off the heat, but also stole quite a chunk of my energy, as it was a head wind for a lot of the time.

Heading out of Quy Nonh, and then heading back to the coast

The view back at town, from the north

It was wild, sandy and windy on the deserted back road heading north. I felt like I was in some desert somewhere. It’s not really the image you first imagine when you wonder what Vietnam might be like.

Yup, I had to get over those hills. With bad brakes. I had to go seriously slowly on the way down.

Buddha watching over proceedings

I eventually got to this beach, around lunchtime, and was immediately kindly invited to join a bunch of 5 schoolteachers in their little bamboo sala, for food and a million beers.

And that was basically it for the day.

They all look pretty calm don’t they? Don’t be fooled, they were rowdy as, drinking and singing and laughing like teenagers.

I seriously cannot believe how fast and how much they (we) were drinking. They all clinked their glasses together basically after pretty much every sentence anyone spoke, like a sort of acknowledgment or something, and then they’d immediately either scull or half-scull their drinks.

They told me right from the start that the respectful thing for me to do was to drink just as they were drinking, because I’m part of their group, and we’re all friends etc. and we all have to keep up with each other and drink the same amount. So when they sculled, I should scull.

Which I did.

For awhile anyway. Eventually they were drunk enough not to notice some of my tricky pretend sculls.

I’m so glad they’d started drinking well before me, that’s all I can say.

Two of the bunch were a high school principal and a vice principal, and, bloody hell, they were as drunk and rowdy as everyone else.

After every can was polished off (every minute roughly) they’d just fling it out of the sala right onto the beach.

Some other bugger would have to pick that up later.

I’ve noticed that that’s pretty common in Vietnam, especially in the countryside. At cafés and restaurants people gather around huge tables to eat and drink together, and when they leave there’s shit absolutely everywhere, all over the table and floor - cans, bones, bits of food, fruit peels and pips, you name it.

They don’t spit on the ground though. They used to.

When the group leaves, the staff come around with garbage bins, mops and brooms, and clean it all up.

The teachers offered me so much food in the sala.

My Buddha.

Trouble is, it mainly consisted of rice noodles (bún) with some sort of extremely chewy meat (goat/dog?), with bones and cartilage and all sorts of unknowable animal parts of various colours.

I deliberately didn’t ask what type of meat it was.

I tried to tell them (gently) that I was vegetarian, but it didn’t seem to compute in their rowdy state, and I was so blown away by their friendliness and hospitality that I didn’t mention it again, and just sort of picked out the few token green bits that were in there (not the animal green bits), and the noodles, and went with that.

They did have loads of fruit though, that was a bonus.

Before long, my guitar was out, and not just played by me …

Despite their general rowdiness, they’d then sing these super sad and soft traditional Vietnamese songs, and get all emotional about it.

The songs were actually really cool, with amazing rhythms and guitar parts.

The singing got pretty croaky and pretty kooky though. And that was just the beginning.

After a couple of hours I was invited (advised) that we were now going off to sing at a karaoke bar, and that I’d be spending the night at a guest house that two of them were staying at for the night.

The next mission, then, was for me to follow them for a wobbly 6km to the guest house, shower up, and get ready for the next drinking and singing session.

Yeah, I know. You thought I’d learnt my lesson in Bangkok not to drink and ride. Hmmm. Luckily I was well below that Bangkok level of wobbliness.

But these guys were unstoppable, I really had no choice, the peer pressure was mighty. (Tell that to the judge).

Truong and Principal Nhung getting all emotional

Molecular microscopic photographs of my brain at the time

It’s getting later

And the amazing thing is, that at every moment at least one of them would be looking after me, filling up my drink (no, please, no more!), or handing me food to eat, peeling rambutans and actually putting them in my mouth, dipping sliced unripe mangoes into salt and chilli and doing the same.

From heart to mouth.

Or they’d be pulling me up onto the karaoke stage to sing solo Vietnamese songs that I’d try to copy the melodies of in real time (and wildly cheering when I sorta did), or forcing me to sing songs in English that I didn’t know, because 1. they were never released in Australia because they’re really bad and everyone would’ve hated them, or 2. they were released in Oz but I never listened to them because I hated them.

They couldn’t believe it when I said I’d never heard any of that shit. (Shit being the operative word).

My drink’s the fullest one

So after a few hours of karaoke we wandered off down the street to a roadside spot in the dirt, for more (suspicious and meaty) food.

Everything was paid for by them, of course. Any contribution by me was totally out of the question.

And when I told them that I was blown away by their generosity, they just told me that I’m a visitor to their country, that they’re proud of Vietnam and its hospitality, and that they want to make me feel as welcome as possible.

What an amazing thing.

Well, after all that I was incredibly grateful, but pretty headachey and tired at the same time, my voice was croaky from all that singing (and shouting to be heard over the seriously eardrum-smashable volume levels inside the karaoke den of iniquity), and I badly needed to hit the hay.

Eventually everyone went their own ways and I could escape to my bed.

And this morning, after an 11 hour sleep, the guest house host, a beautiful and friendly middle-aged woman, was very keen to chat with me, despite the redness of my eyes and the severe croakiness of my voice-growl, and we had such a lovely conversation.

Then she sent me off with more food gifts, including a 10 tonne watermelon that I ended up carrying for a good chunk of the day (it was way too big to eat in one session), and another massive bottle of water.

You just can’t say no to such hospitality.

And off I rode, feeling incredibly warm and fuzzy (the warmth bolstered by the already blistering heat of the day, and the fuzzy exacerbated by my extreme post-apocalyptic seediness).

Ca Công

So, it was an absolutely beautiful ride, through some of the quietest roads I’ve been on in the whole country so far.

Some welcome cloud cover, and a breeze.

These beautiful, deserted roads are really my thang.

Sugar cane juice

And deep fried bananas, in the hammock

This hefty wind was blowing across me for a lot of the day, and sometimes became a strong headwind, again.

Prawn resort

One third left to go

My watermelon sugar spot

Brand new expensive monument in a sleepy rundown village

There were some major hills today, the second of which was so steep I had to push my bike for awhile. I haven’t had to do that for ages. It was super tough in the heat. And such a relief to get to the top, although cruising down was tricky, I had to go super slow, as I still had brake issues.

Collecting shellfish

Decorative lantana at my guest house

I had a beautiful evening stroll along the main village road (there’s really only one main road).

And you know what?

I never realised how hard it is being famous.

Pretty much every single person wanted to say hello to me, and wanted to know what the hell I was doing there.

I sat in a cute little café and immediately caught the attention of a tribe of kids. I said hello of course, they were totally scared of me and ran off, but eventually shyly returned clutching a phone, and the bravest of them, a girl, asked me proudly in English, “how are you?”

I said I’m great, and how was she?

They all ran off.

And so commenced the game.

They’d return every minute or so with a new question, like, “where are you from?” or “how ore are you (old)?” or much more important ones like “do you play Free Fire?” (a computer game).

Eventually they felt safe enough to stop running, and then pretty soon it was selfie time, with me featuring in all of the pics, with all of the kids and a whole bunch of adults, and then with me holding every baby and toddler in the village, one by one. Some of the real youngies were a little bit dubious about it, I guess because they’d never come in direct contact with a whitey before. Poor things.

They sorta squirmed a bit sometimes, but never cried.

Ah celebrity, it’s so tiresome.

Later I returned to the guest house and met another Ní, she’s a pre school and dance teacher, 25, and I’m the same age as her dad, which she said was very auspicious. We had a great conversation, using Google of course, all about her life here in Vietnam.

She’s the only one in her family who’s vegetarian, and she prepared me a beautiful meal (on the house, of course). The generosity is endless and boundless.

We talked for ages, she told me she’d had a miscarriage recently and was coming to terms with the loss, but was feeling pretty philosophical about it, saying that she believed a baby would come to her and her husband when its spirit was ready.

What a gal.

Ní is really a gentle soul, we had such a beautiful easy connection.

Quang Ngai

It really was a tough day today, physically. I had a long 90km ride in the heat, which included some big hills, and I’ve been coming down with some sort of fever/sore throat/runny nose etc. over the past couple of days that’s sapped my energy levels.

My body’s probably trying to rest and recover from the big day/night with the teachers, but instead I’ve been on the road in the heat.

I also got a flatty in the middle of the day, which was annoying. But I really can’t complain. It’s the first one I’ve had in the whole country, my last was way back in Western Cambodia, probs around 1500 kms back. I consider myself very lucky.

My body was actually ok enough for the ride itself today (despite my nose tap), my legs are strong, and it was really only a sore butt that annoyed me.

Rice stalks are a valuable commodity in this country. I see them a lot, drying along the road (along with the rice itself). The stalks are used to make rope, baskets, roofing, sandals and even hats (but not the ubiquitous conical Vietnamese hats - they’re normally made of palm leaves or bamboo).

Ready for the next lot

The coastline was beautiful, as usual, but I left it after some time. The road headed inland for most of the day.

These places are amazing! Especially in this heat. You lie in the hammock and drink fresh coconut water, or sugar cane juice, or lime juice (with mountains of sugar), and there’s a sprinkler system that sprays tiny droplets of water all over you, and the fan blows and cools you off in no time. It’s absolute bliss! You can’t see the spray in the pics.

It seriously is the best idea ever, in this cracking heat.

Lie down, stretch your legs, cool off, rehydrate, siesta.

If I owned an outdoor café in Oz that’s what I’d do outside in summer. Although I guess everyone there is used to sitting in aircon, and going straight from their air conned cars to the air conned everywhere else.

But here, for all these people zipping around on their motorbikes in the heat, it’s perfect.

The simple pleasures.

I fell asleep for a bit in the hammock. My body sure needs it.

So, I finally made it to a guest house in Quang Ngai, the Vietnamese owner, Ron (Ron??), is such a character, he hugged me when I arrived (I was dripping wet with sweat), and he gave me a great room up the top, overlooking the river.

I went for a walk, got some banh mi, some tea and fruit, ate, and then crashed like a dead man. Although it wasn’t such a restful sleep, with my dripping nose.

Resting

So I finally found a guy in a bike shop here to sort out my brake issue, and my bike’s there now.

I also need to find a good new tyre, my back one’s nearly done, but there’s no options here, just really poor quality ones, I’ll have to try in some cities further north, Da Nang or Huê. I want my bike in as good a nick as possible before I venture into the service-less hill zones of western Vietnam and southern Laos.

An apprehensive Bewdy waiting her turn. Just like a dentist’s waiting room.

Drum maker

As it turns out, the bike guy was the best ever! He repaired a thingamejig (scientific Celtic name) on the back wheel hub, also replaced a few damaged spokes, and then got my derailleur working properly again, which was starting to get jammed sometimes. The derailleur is the device at the back that moves the chain into different cogs when you shift the gear lever.

At least I know its name.

But I have no idea how to repair or adjust it.

I’m so bloody lazy about things like that.

The Vietnamese are masters at creating cool and delicious jellies to put in their multitude of teas. Bubble tea (milky tea with flavoured tapioca jelly balls) originated in Taiwan in the 1980s, but is now massive everywhere in Asia, and is getting big everywhere else these days too, I guess.

In this country they’ve taken it to a new level, with a huge variety of flavours on offer, and they’re all stunningly delicious, and particularly refreshing in this climate.

I’m determined to try them all, along with all their amazing flavours of chè, their jellied fruit coconut milk sweets.

Trippy café fish tank

Hoi An, An Bang, and other monosyllables

I’m in bloody shock!

I just got back from Saturday night Hoi An, and I couldn’t believe my eyesbrain.

The number of tourists there is just completely off the charts! Fuck!

There were literally thousands of them wandering around the old city, and I’d say at least 20% of them were Westerners, the rest Chinese, Korean, Japanese and, of course, Vietnamese.

It was really nuts in there, and, I’ve gotta say, my shock levels are particularly high because I haven’t seen any Westerners at all for about a week.

Compared to where I was last night, in Tam Thanh, where I was the only Westerner, where no one spoke a word of English, and where I had real trouble finding something veg to eat (until Ní cooked for me), Hoi An is in a completely different solar system.

Luckily my friend Sue, who was in Hoi An with her daughter Mia a few weeks ago, suggested I stay outside the town, to “avoid the craziness.” I didn’t realise the mega-ness of her description.

So I’m in An Bang, a beachside place 7 clicks down the road, in a cute little homestay run by a lovely old Vietnamese couple, they’re the sweetest people ever. When I arrived the old man immediately rushed off and got me an iced water, then a cold sliced dragonfruit and a big pot of the most delicious green tea, and kept saying to me, “free, free, for you, for you.”

What a darling.

There was also an albino peacock in my room.

And another day a deformed elephant jumped on my bed.

First, Third, Second?

The food I was given was all rather timely, because I was absolutely famished, having eaten nothing all day except a couple of handfuls of soggy steamed peanuts, which I bought from an old lady last night, and which are the most annoying things ever to peel because the soft peanuts break up in the shells, and you have to dig the soggy bits out with your fingernails, which I don’t have.

At least I had some salt, otherwise it would’ve been really bad.

Anyway, the reason I was so bloody hungry was because there was absolutely nothing to eat on the way today. It’s happened a bit lately, and it’s pretty much impossible to predict. I get on these roads, and there’s just nothing there, no places to eat, no shops, no villages, not even fruit stalls on the side of the road.

So I starve.

And I can’t really tell from the map that it’s gonna be like that, because Google Street View hardly works in this country, except on the highways. The back roads are complete unknowns. And the satellite view option still doesn’t really show what type of buildings are gonna be there.

Anyway, of course it’s just a First World problem.

In the Third World.

Actually, that makes me wonder.

We all sorta know where the First World and Third World are, don’t we?

You know, America, Europe and all the other rich bastard countries are First World, and poor African and Asian/Latin American countries are Third World.

But where on earth’s the Second World?

Hmmm, I’m really not sure.

When I was at school the Second World referred to the Soviet Union and all its satellite Eastern European vassal states.

But they’re all pretty much independent now, and a lot of them are quite rich, or getting that way.

So, these days the Second World refers to countries that lie in between rich and poor.

Don’t ask me for a list, but in Southeast Asia I would say Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam and maybe Indonesia (that’s a little iffy) would be Second World, whereas Cambodia, Myanmar and the Philippines would still be Third.

Singapore, Taiwan, (and soon, probably Malaysia) have def made it to First World status, in my humble untrained opinion.

But it’s actually a bit unrealistically academic to try to categorise countries in this way, because there’s so much wealth disparity everywhere, in all the 3 worlds.

A homeless woman in LA, for example, is way worse off than many people in Vietnam.

Tam Tanh

Yesterday’s ride to Tam Thanh, the beach I stayed at last night, was long and hot, but beautiful.

The Lakes District. Large areas of aquaculture, as I look to the coast.

Unfortunately though, I had a pretty fucked up experience yesterday, which, I gotta say, is quite an unusual comment for me to make, because I rarely have them out here.

I stopped at a banh mi stall, and ordered one, the middle aged guy made me the food, and suggested I come in to his barber shop, which was open to the street. I sat at a little table and started eating, and chatted with a young teenage boy, who was probably his son.

The older guy started filming me, which is not unusual, given my celebrity status out here.

But then he sidled up next to me and privately started to show me a cock vid, of some guy masturbating.

Maybe it was him, I didn’t look too closely.

I was pretty shocked, and instinctively just pushed him right away from me with the palm of my hand.

I carried on chatting to his son until I’d finished eating, paid the son, and then left without saying a word to the creepy dude.

I hate that shit.

Maybe I should have given him a serve, but I was actually pretty shocked, and I’m not great at giving people serves, even if I’ve had a little more notice to get myself worked up.

So the whole thing left me with a pretty fucked up feeling for awhile.

Of course eventually I forgot all about it, as I had a bunch of beautiful interactions with uncreepy people after that.

Hmmm, maybe I should’ve read the sign

The situation made me further empathise with women, many of whom regularly have to deal with being the targets of too much unwanted attention by creepy dudes.

I feel for you, it feels crap.

While I’m on the road, friendly motorbike riders sometimes putt along next to me, and just stare at me for awhile, as I ride, and smile and give me the thumbs up and say hello and then eventually ride off. It’s so nice.

They don’t seem to realise though that it can be a bit tricky riding alongside a motorbike when you’re on a pushbike on some of these dodgy roads, trying to avoid obstacles on the very edge of the road but not crash into their motorbikes at the same time.

The very edge of the road is generally where the worst obstacles are.

And rarely, like today, someone with a little English will start chatting with me as they ride alongside, and ask me all sorts of questions. A beautiful young couple did that for awhile, we chatted about all sorts of things, whilst I attempted to stay upright as they rode alongside me.

Eventually they said they had to go, and the girl pressed a cold yoghurt drink into my hand and they both wished me good luck and a safe trip.

Aaah, my faith so easily restored. Those sort of people outnumber the creeps by thousands to 1.

The hot white dunes

This guy tried to charge me, but was tied up (luckily). We both accidentally scared the dung out of each other when I quickly came around a bend.

Cute little beachside artworks. Tam Thanh has got a bit of an arty vibe.

Every woman and her fluffy cat was down at the beach before sunset.

This morning I headed off late, after a long and restful sleep. Somehow my body has managed to recover from whatever bug it had in Quang Ngai, even though I only gave it a day to rest, and I’ve still been cycling hard for long distances in the heat. I feel pretty much totally recovered.

Lucky me.

There’s loads of murals around Tam Thanh

Sandy cemeteries. I’ve ridden past countless cemeteries in sand dunes, all the way along the Vietnamese coast. I sorta get why they choose these areas to put their graves, it’s so nice.

The coastal dunes have a natural peace about them.

Ok, it’s a warning. A theme park. Must be loads of tourists.

I crossed a super high bridge. Cool and windy at the top, with stunning views.

Drying palm frond stalks

Disneyland

And then in the late afternoon I rode the 7km into Hoi An, and joined the throngs. It was still light when I got there, and I was already flabbergasted at the tourist numbers, but that was just the entrée, after the sun went down all the other courses came out, the number of tourists (and my brain) exploded.

Hoi An Ancient Town is an amazingly well preserved example of a small historic Southeast Asian port town. It actively traded from the 15th to 19th Centuries, and it’s in such good nick that it’s been designated as a UNESCO World Heritage site.

Because of its centuries of trade contacts, the town’s architecture is a fusion of Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese and even European influences.

The old town comprises over 1000 wooden framed buildings with brick or wooden walls, including family homes, shops, warehouses, markets, pagodas, other types of temples, and family cult houses. Most have a tiled roof, and many have traditional motifs carved in the wood.

The buildings are situated in tight rows of pedestrian streets, but, of course, you’ve gotta make sure you watch out for the odd motorbike, bicycle, or convoys of cycle rickshaws.

A pedestrian mall is never completely vehicle free around these parts.

Photobombed again

The town and river is lit up at night by thousands of lanterns, and is stunningly beautiful, despite the crowds.

Great spot for people watching. I sat outside at this bar, and I chatted for a pinute to a lovely German couple from Dresden. A pinute, btw, is the length of time required to have a leisurely conversation whilst also slowly polishing off a cold pint of beer.

They were having a ball, on a 3 week holiday, like most of the Europeans around here I guess. They’re in their late 30s, have been together for 8 years, have no kids, so can afford to go on an overseas holiday every year.

They’ve been all over Southeast Asia over the years, and to North Africa, and many parts of Europe.

Eventually they went off to find some exquisite lamps for their bedroom in Dresden, and I went off to find some exquisite food offerings for my body-temple in Hoi An.

I found a delicious (and bloody expensive) vegan place to eat, I wasn’t worried about the price as it’s been super cheap on the road lately, and I was happy for a one-off splurge on a luxury I haven’t had for awhile.

Then I wandered through the madness. It was seriously crazy busy, and beautiful at the same time. A throbbing swarming mass of humanity, all wandering around, looking around at the beautiful lights, and each other, shopping, eating, drinking, selfie-ing, you know the drill.

Time To Hang

It could almost be the name of a Vietnamese town.

Ah, what an absolute luxury.

I have visa time to just stay here in An Bang for awhile and chill out.

This family is so sweet, there’s great food around, a beautiful beach, and I don’t need to be anywhere.

In a few days I’ll head north, over the Truong Son range, via the steep Hai Van pass, and I’ll cross into the geographical north of the country.

For centuries the range was the natural border between the Champa Kingdom in the south, and the Dai Viet Kingdom of the north.

It’s gonna be a tough steep climb, with gradients of over 11%. But hey, I’ve been doing a few of those lately, albeit over shorter distances.

My legs will complain, and my heart will probably try to bust out of its wrapping again.

But, Insha’allah, I’ll get over, by hook or by crook, by rev or by foot, and I’ll ride on, on this long fascinating unpredictable magnificent road to everywhere❤️

If you’ve enjoyed reading and would like to support my writing efforts, feel free to buy me a coffee, using the link below. It’s helpful to me, and is self explanatory once you’re in there, you can be anonymous if you wish. But please, don’t feel obliged, just enjoy the blog orrright?!!

http://buymeacoffee.com/krolesh9