East In Eden

Lakeside

I’m in Paradise. Yet another one.

I’m sitting on a warm grassy bank at Lake Arragan, in Yuraygir National Park, a little south of Yamba, in northern NSW. The softest and most beautiful cool breeze is blowing across my face, the sun is out, the ocean is roaring in the distance, its sound bouncing across the lake to my welcoming ears.

We’ve been camped here for a couple of nights now, a bunch of friends have met up here from different places on the north coast, old friends.

Old in the sense that our friendships are old, that is. And solid. And sweet. It’s really precious time.

We’ve been hanging out, chatting, playing music, going on walks, eating, sitting around the fire, paddling the kayak with the kids. But the main thing we’ve been doing is absolutely nothing. Cos there’s nothing to do.

I cycled here over two days from Pete’s place in Riley’s Hill, over 100km away, it was pretty cruisey, as I had a cracker of a tail wind on the second day. I’m just getting used to how to balance out my gear on my bike, to stop it being so bloody wobbly. My front brakes haven’t been cooperating, I’ve had to disconnect them, and will have to sort out that problem later. I also haven’t sorted out a good way to carry my guitar. Yet. It’s super dodgy sticking out sideways, it slammed into the side of a high narrow bridge fence as I was crossing a major river the other day. Not good.

Woodburn wisdom

Fiery forest

Uva i vino in New Italy

Downtown Maclean

The track in to Lake Arragan

Seduction

Stillness

We all look so serious. Fio's managing a mini-smile at least.

Lazing about

Better angle for the axe. They really do overdo the Scottish thing in Maclean.

The sugarcane harvest is on

Before the rescue

Old rubber tree

We had an absolutely killer jam at Pete's after I finished the ride, with his daughters Kamala and Halle. It was so epic, we all talked about it for days.

The national parks that hug the coast from the far north coast of NSW all the way down to Sydney are stunning. And there’s a lot of them.

As I headed off on the first part of my circumnavigation of Oz, I headed south, passing many of them by. But I’ve spent so much time there lately, I really want to show you guys some beautiful pics.

Broadwater National Park

The first park south of Mullum is Broadwater National Park, not very far south of Ballina. It has stunning, sweeping beaches, and is pretty much empty almost all the time. Empty of people that is.

A shearwater that didn’t make it. Short-tailed shearwaters are, believe it or not, one of the most common bird species in the world, with a global population of over 18 million. They’re also called muttonbirds. Every year they migrate huge distances from the northern to southern hemispheres, and back again, often flying distances of up to 15,000km.

Wow. I thought I travelled a lot.

Unfortunately, pretty much every year, due to weather, habitat, and food source conditions, a large number of the shearwaters don’t make it, and many wash up on the beaches of eastern Australia.

My security escort. I’m so famous because of this blog, it’s really annoying. These guys keep the hordes out of my face, and out of my stunning world-class pics.

Bundjalung National Park

As you head further south, you hit Bundjalung National Park, named after the indigenous Bundjalung Nation, which stretches from Beaudesert and Beenleigh in SE Qld all the way south to Grafton in NSW, and as far west as Tenterfield.

It’s a beautiful park of coastal scrub, tannin water-filled creeks, and beautiful black cliffed coastlines.

Penile dementia

Yuraygir National Park

And then, if you keep heading south, you make it to here, to Yuraygir, one of my all-time favourite places in the whole wonderful world.

The original home of the Yaegl people, the park is vast, stretching all the way from just south of Yamba, right down to close to Coffs Harbour, and it protects NSW’s longest stretch of undeveloped coastline.

I’ve camped and hiked in various parts of this vast park loads and loads of times, it was a regular hangout with my family from right back in the early 2000s, and I’ve been here pretty much every year since, sometimes many times a year.

That’s how good it is.

There’s 2 sides to everything

Early 2000s. Shamani trying to ignore me. Manu engrossed. Sarah giving out one of her big laughs. Me being stupid.

Happy hippy in the tipi

Brigitte engrossed in chordwork

There’s a long distance walking track that skirts the entire edge of Yuraygir, along the coast from north to south, the Yuraygir Coastal Walk. It’s absolutely stunning. There’s various walking trails that branch off from the main campgrounds as well.

The wildlife is prolific here, I’ve seen emus, brolgas, wild brumbies, echidnas, goannas and many many wallabies and kangaroos in various parts of the park.

Borer borer

Not bad huh

Don’t die at the profoundipity of my writing

Check out Neptunessa on the rock, the Roamin Goddess of the Sea, rather more Italian than Roman actually. Some call her Miranda, others the Dreadlock Express. Still others hail her as the Meanderthal Woman.

Closeup of Neptunessa’s hair

This crab has evolved a love-heart-eyed smiley emoji face on its back, so that when people see it they feel good inside and subconsciously decide not to eat it. It worked with us.

Gibraltar Range National Park

This amazing World Heritage park is in the Great Dividing Range, west of Yuraygir and Grafton. As with all the national parks within cooee of Mullumbimby, I’ve visited it many times, for camping, day hikes, and to hike the World Heritage Walk, a 3-day hiking track that loops through the park.

Lying within the traditional lands of the Bundjalung, Gumbaingirr and Ngarrabul people, the park is extremely diverse, with huge waterfalls, tall rainforest, extensive tracts of woodlands, grasslands, and spectacular granite peaks and outcrops.

Yeah I know

Phil, as happy as Larry. I know you’ve always wondered who Larry actually was, and why he was so happy. So now I’m gonna tell you. The famous Larry was Larry Foley, a kiwi boxer who won a massive $150,000 in a boxing comp in the 1890s. You can imagine how happy he was, especially given how much that must’ve been worth in those days. The next day the newspaper headlines were “As Happy As Larry.”

So there ya go.

Maybe in this pic Phil is just pretending to be as happy as Larry, he’s potentially as happy as Barry. Don’t ask me about who Barry is, or Harry either. It would’ve been great if Larry’s name was actually Harry. That would actually make me as happy as Harry. Way better ring to it. Btw this was the last time I used this tent/swimming pool, for plumbing reasons.

Carnivorous vegetation

Just a shell of their former selves

Boonoo Boonoo, Bald Rock and Girraween National Parks

These three magnificent parks lie in the NSW Northern Tablelands, the largest highlands area in Australia. They feature incredible granite monoliths, outcrops and peaks, stunning waterfalls, and rich and diverse forests. We’ve camped here heaps of times over the years as well, the first time was at the International Rainbow Gathering in 2000, a gathering of the wildest most feral delicious hippies from across the globe. We tried really hard to fit in.

Ochred up in 2000. I really wish I could find the other pics of this trip.

The kids before we fed them to the crocodiles

In the lockup

At the top of Bald Rock

Small hiking party

Fridolin manifesting icecream

The Pilliga

This amazing area, home of the Gamilaraay people, is about 8 hours southwest of Byron. It lies well over the Great Divide, so it feels a little like the beginnings of the outback. Frankie and I have camped here a few times, it’s amazing, there’s the most incredible sculpture garden in the south of the scrub. It’s called Sculptures in the Scrub, for some weird reason.

See them up there?

After the fires

Bush humour

Far Western NSW and Lightning Ridge

I’ve been out west a few times in the past few years. A while back Frankie and I did a long trip all the way to Broken Hill and Mutiwintji Gorge, we camped on the magnificent Darling-Baaka River, in the wide open bush near Wilcannia, and at many places in between. It was magnificent. Of course.

Let alone hanging with Frankie for that long.

You wouldn’t have wanted to listen to our absolutely ridiculous bullshit conversations though. They lasted for hours, jam packed with repeated jokes, bad puns, and frustrated teenage boy comments.

Every now and then, very infrequently that is, someone would make some deep insightful comment about life, or share something very personal. Or even get vulnerable, God forbid. Sharing like this would always be met with another bad joke, derision, or more teenage boy wisdom. We’re so mature.

Dry country downpour

The Darling-Baaka River at Toorale National Park

This mum was pretty feisty. We got scared, and decided to skedaddle.

Different family

Shearers near Menindee

Yeah, Sunset Strip used to be the spot to watch the amazing colours reflected over the beautiful Menindee Lake. Since the 70s, however, when upstream irrigation for cotton started draining the Darling-Baaka River, very little or no water now makes it to the lake system around Menindee.

Lake Menindee. Climate change in the flesh.

Check out the sign. Boating!?? Good luck with that one boys.

Recently, due to a massive flooding event, the lake system has filled up. Amazing. But the same problem remains. This was just a freak event. I took this pic from my chopper btw.

Now that actually looks like a pretty impressive sunset on the strip. Don’t get your hopes up though, it won’t last.

Quandong tree

Mutiwintji community library

The hike out to Mutiwintji Gorge. It’s the most stunning, magnificent place.

Very cooling, on a stinker of a day

The wind at Mutiwintji was nuts. My tent was completely zipped up, but the wind carried all this dirt through the mesh anyway. It felt very gritty having a poo the next day, or is that too much information?

Amazing Wilcannia buildings

Cobar butcher. I didn’t go in, I went to the tofu carvery instead.

Keeping it flexible

I wanted to buy this shirt but Frankie stopped me. I still don’t know why, I think maybe it made him jealous, maybe other husbands might like me.

Stellar business nomenclature

I couldn’t see the eagle, the king of the birds, but I spotted his royal high nest

Frankie burning off samskaras

Sawn Rocks, Mt Kaputar National Park

Club in the Scrub, an incredible miners’ community at Grawin, about 70km from Lightning Ridge, on the worst rutted goat track in history. Man there’s some hicks out there.

A woman was calling out people’s names over the mike when their meals were ready. She called out Sheila’s name, and Sheila, a forty-something rough and ready woman who was right next to me jumped up and headed off, cursing loudly with gritted teeth, “I’m gonna fucken cut that little cunt’s tongue out!!!”

Ouch. I didn’t go to see what happened after that. I was too scared. I wonder what made her so angry? Must've been something to do with the heart, or maybe it was about money. Or both. Maybe the microphone gal rooted Sheila's boyfriend, after he just hit the opal jackpot.

Yes, it’s the Grawin Golf Club. You putt for the hole on the browns.

Wongs Fish and Chips shop in Walgett. Rather than just put up security doors and windows, we need to get to the root of the theft and delinquency problem. It’s not rocket science. We already know that two Wongs don’t make a wight.

Crowdy Bay National Park

Starting about 50 km south of Port Macquarie, this large park hugs the most amazing coastline, about halfway between Byron and Sydney. It’s location makes for the perfect stopover on my many trips down to the Big Smoke.

Unfortunately though, the big smoke, or should I say the big burn, devastated this park during the major fires of 2019/20.

Those unprecedented fires, which lasted for a whole 9 months, ripped through a huge amount of country, from southern Queensland all the way down to Tassie, and into the Northern Territory. The NT itself accounted for about one third of the total land burnt. The fires had been preceded by a prolonged climate change-induced drought.

An incredible 46 million acres was burnt overall, including at least 80% of the Blue Mountains World Heritage Area, and at least 50% of the Gondwana Rainforests World Heritage Area, an incredible region that I talked about in the last blog.

The fires killed an estimated 1 billion animals on their way through. 34 people also died, and the extensive massive devastating property damage included the loss of over 3500 homes, and innumerable farm buildings and critical infrastructure. During those traumatic months, some communities were almost completely wiped off the face of the blistering earth. Many many people went bankrupt.

The unceasing deadly march of climate change continues, and so, in response, demonstrating to all how rational we are, we continue to pump out deadly emissions, imbecilic human lemmings willingly plunging to our own slaughter.

We really love our kids, don’t we.

Yeah anyway, blah blah.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Crowdy Bay’s amazing, even after the fires.

But she ain’t what she used to be.

Myall Lakes National Park

Another huge coastal park, this area protects a massive lake system teeming with fish, wildlife and birds. Extensive flooding closed the park to vehicles for a long period in 2021, but it didn’t stop me going in, on me bike.

Seal Rocks. It sure does.

The Red Devil

Campsite companion

The Blue Mountains

Given its proximity to Sydney, and given that Frankie and his family have lived in Blackheath for decades now, the Blue Mountains have been another fave hangout for me over the years. The area contains huge tracts of relatively untouched wilderness, towering escarpments, cool rainforest gullies, plunging creeks and waterfalls, caves, and a magnificent variety of hiking tracks.

It’s also recovering from the fires, helped by recent massive rain events.

Magnificent views from around Govett’s Leap and Evan’s Lookout

Grand Canyon hike. Not the real one, that’s in Arizona

Ajuna Poppins

Not sure if this is a Blackheath bordello, given the name, or actually a restaurant. Maybe it’s both. Sex can be a hungry business.

Mum and dad must’ve been sick.

Katoomba Covid victim

Ajuna’s amazing art

Six Foot Track scenery. The track runs from Katoomba, down through the Megalong Valley, which, incredibly, is mega long, eventually ending up at Jenolan Caves, which were closed due to damaged roads from flooding. I did the three day hike alone, it was beautiful, especially down at the Cox River campsite. But actually the hiking was pretty average in parts too, which is saying something, given my undying optimism and praise for pretty much everything that exists.

This was the spot

The Beetles

Rearguard action

NSW South Coast

As you head further and further south from Sydney, the vibe gets more and more rural, so by the time you get close to the Victorian border, the communities are really local again, far enough away from the influence of the city. Of course there’s plenty of people who’ve moved there from the big smoke, but they get into the vibe. The national parks and bush around there is absolutely stunning - but again, it was extensively trashed during the big fires in 2019/20.

The incredible view from Pigeonhouse Mountain, in the Budawangs.

Wingin it

Secret spot near Bermagui

Mimosa Rocks National Park

I hiked the 3-day Light to Light walk alone in the summer,  a 30km hike along the coast from just south, and a little East of Eden, at Boyd’s Lighthouse, right through to Green Cape Lighthouse. The hike is exclusively in Beowa National Park, which has recently been renamed from Ben Boyd National Park. The new name recognises the indigenous heritage of the Theura people, the word beowa means orca in their lingo.

Also, Ben Boyd wasn’t the most suitable of people to originally name a park after, in fact quite the opposite. Boyd was a slaver, and was involved in what was known then as “blackbirding,” where colonists would zip over to Vanuatu and New Caledonia in their tall ships, and steal and transport able bodied men to work as slaves on farms in Australia. Ahhh those colonists, always had a sharp eye to make a quid or two, or a squillion.

The fires got down here bigtime.

They don't call it the Sapphire Coast for nothing

Boyd's Lighthouse

Snowy Mountains

On my way down to the south coast, I hiked the Main Range Circuit in the Snowy Mountains National Park, and then continued on hiking, staying at a bunch of huts in the area.

It’s a magnificent alpine park, and despite the fact that I visited the area smack bang in the middle of a hot summer, I managed to experience a full blizzard while I was there. I was blown off the track, the track was closed by the rangers, and I just about froze to death as I was completely unprepared.

Ok, that’s an exaggeration.

I was just very very cold.

Plus I forgot my main food bag, leaving it on the passenger seat of my car, for all the animals and birds to ogle at, and for me to dribble dream about. I’m so organised sometimes.

The view from my tent

This is what you see from the top of Mt Kosciusko, which, at 2228m, is Australia’s highest “mountain.” It’s regarded as a molehill elsewhere. Nevertheless it was freezing up there, pre-blizzard.

The beginnings of the Snowy River. The Man wasn’t there at the time.

You need to look closely, but this is melted snow. A huge amount of it no less.

I heard on the trail that someone proposed to his girlfriend here once. I don’t know what she said. Maybe “yes!” maybe “oh that’s so sweet, but I love us just how we are!” and then broke up with him 2 weeks later.

Melbourne

The jury’s in.

All that’s needed now is for me to pronounce the verdict.

I apologise in advance to all you Sydneysiders, but I have to be cruel with the truth.

So I hereby announce that:

Melbourne is the best city in Australia.

What?

Whaddaya mean I don’t know what I’m talking about?

Look, Sydney is way more beautiful, way more flash, way more shiny. Its got amazing beaches, the Blue Mountains, Royal National Park, the Opera House, Vivid, a climate to die for, loads of cool places to hang out, cultural diversity, art.

So what does Melbourne have?

Cold. Rain. Grey. Ugliness.

But it’s still better.

I could be biased.

I know that may surprise you but it is actually possible.

But it seems to me that Melbourne has more individuality. More amazing music and music venues, more art. More funky districts to hang out in, more people dressed like they got out of bed and thought about how to be different. Melbourne’s European, African and Asian, and Sydney’s all that too, but with a heavy and often impenetrable glossy layer of LA.

Melbourne doesn’t have the same obsession with where you live, what car you drive, what you’re wearing. You don’t have the same pressure to get somewhere in Melbourne. Sydney’s dog eat dog. Melbourne’s more dog sniffs dog at the bar and wonders out loud about doing it doggie-style. Actually that’s Sydney too.

Of course you think I’m biased. But I’ve spent a lot of time in both cities. That’s my verdict and I’m stickin to it.

For the length of this paragraph anyway.

Yeah I know they’re in Sydney too

Me phone’s in me bag

Propagating the propaganda

Early Japanese dart game

Downtown Fitzroy

Hannaford’s in Smith St

Andy and Elfyn sharing heart food

Masala dosa from Dosa Hut, this is the real McCoy-ji

Here’s a little excerpt from my journal of a trip down to Melbs recently ….

The bar fridge purrs. The kettle grizzles, heating the water for Manu’s hot water bottle. The yellowed LED lights create psychedelic rays on my reading glasses. Manu sighs, warming her face on her woollen hot water bottle cover, sighs again, then adjusts her bedding till it’s just right.

Auti-right, that is.

Her 11 year old fluffy bunny, rabbit eye mask, ear plugs, meditation tape, and calming music are at the ready.

Black and white photographs of Melbourne’s skyline and Fed Square adorn the walls of our generously large twin room. The Victoria Hotel, Little Collins Street, is our host for the next three nights.

Originally opened in 1880, it’s one of Melbourne’s first hotels, and was advertised in those days as the largest hotel in the Commonwealth. ‘The Vic’ became famous as a luxury hotel in the 20s and 30s, and still retains much of its former glory. It’s a grand sentinel of another, older world, a maze-like eight storey building that’s had a facelift and a powder puff. It’s swish, but without the swish price tag, and so is perfect for us.

The elegentsia

Balaclava Brezeln

Sweet surrender, Acland Street, St Kilda

It was actually cold and wet. I know what you’re thinking. See, Sydney’s not that bad, is it? Huh?

Once upon a time, in another life, I was a suit. I went to work, staring at the sky, dreaming for more in life. Eventually my dreams came true and I became a cleaner. Not for long though.

Pleasing the Spanish Inquisition, for fear of death (or worse)

Warli painting, from Maharashtra in India

Eyeing the Yarra

Maintaining a thread of dignity. Just.

Rum baba, from Brunetti’s. One of the largest and most delicious Italian cafes I’ve ever had the pleasure of gutsing myself in. The capsule has rum in it btw. You inject the rum into various spots in the pastry and then eat it. I can’t describe how good it tastes now because I’m fully dribbling and have to clean up all the mess.

Wooden-cladded old train stations pass me by. In urbia now, passing established, leafy houses, green lichen on their orange tiles, Georgian turrets, cosmopolitan shopping streets. Graffiti splashed on industrial walls. On and on it goes, speaking to me. Red berries blinging red leaved bushes, an anachronism on this grey wintry day.

Grand Victorian buildings stand as testaments to another era, but have been preserved, renewed, in this society where money grows on trees. There’s so much of it around. You can go out for a big café lunch, and pay as much as you just earned for 20 minutes work. Tall hedges block off Tudor buildings, as we reach East Camberwell station. Yellowed oak leaves brown slowly, another burst of colour in this dark world.

Concrete and glass medium rise office towers and apartments line the track here at Auburn, a triple beep sounds as the doors close and we whoosh away. Another stunning streetscape of cafes and shops, 2 and 3 storey buildings with their graceful, unique Victorian facades. More apartments, and more, and large construction sites with more going up. Telecommunications towers ensuring we stay disconnected, arriving at Hawthorn Station. I want to get out and explore, but have no time today.

Woollen beanies atop brown or black-haired heads, sprouting long soft brushed hair that I pine to stroke. Maxi puffer jackets and coats, nearly all black, adorn the commuters. My brown furry 70s coat is a stark contrast. A mural of a ménage-a trois, 3 in a bed, resting, white black yellow. Richmond Station. Bertocchi Famous Hams. AFL training. Sports stadiums, many of them, a city skyline, a maze of electric wires and metal tracks, percussive rhythms, and into a tunnel. In the city now, to meet Manu, for our last hours here.

Charlie’s Angels, Somalie and Manu, being decidedly cheesy

Rainbow over Hampton Beach

Takin’ it to the next level

Rounding It Off

So guys, I’ve got one more blogpost to upload, to complete this seemingly endless and rather confusing description of my wonky convoluted trip around and through Oz.

Next up I’ll be going to some amazing hikes in Victoria, to Tassie, to WOMAD and the Adelaide Festival, and then up to the Red Centre, to hike the Larapinta Trail.

After that I’ll be heading to Indo.

Laki laki me.❤️