Bhanging On

From my rooftop here in Udaipur I can see an old palace on a hill. It’s a little hazy outside, a bit dusty. It hasn’t rained for a couple of weeks, apparently. The haze in the air is not only dust, but also the residual fumes from days and days of exploding fireworks. And, incredibly, it’s still happening.

The appetite for a sustained and total blast seems insatiable here.

Udaipur is seriously beautiful and really interesting, at any time of the year.

But at Diwali it’s next level.

Fireworks are going off everywhere, all day and nearly all night. Walking around town amongst all the celebrations is uplifting, it’s trippy, and it’s also intensely loud and sometimes dodgy. People are banging on all over the place.

And most of the fireworks aren’t of the colourful rocket variety, but crackers, and, even more commonly, bombs.

They’re actually bloody bombs. Well, they look and sound like them anyway. They’re the size of dark green or grey or black tennis balls, with a short fuse, and when they go off the sound is so loud it’s completely deafening. Eardrum bursting. Everyone blocks their ears, instinctively.

If you know it’s gonna happen, that is.

But often you don’t.

Luckily though, these bombs don’t blow holes in things, or kill people and animals, like the real bombs and missiles being rained down on innocent people in different places around the world right now.

Ribbons and fairy lights adorn all the buildings here. Homes and businesses are being cleaned and decorated, and made beautiful.

People even paint their asses

Rangolis and mandana art is everywhere.

The festival of Diwali celebrates the triumph of light over darkness, and everyone lights lamps on the night of the new moon, to invite the presence of Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth. All of the doors and windows are left open to invite her in, so she’ll bless the family with wealth and happiness.

My family guesthouse inner courtyard.

In North India Diwali celebrates the return of Rama, Sita, Hanuman and Lakshmana to the city of Ayodhya, after the defeat of the evil Ravana in Lanka. In other parts of India Diwali celebrates other important events. And the festival is celebrated by Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs and Jains alike.

An important ritual to carry out during the festival is to visit temples, to make an offering and be blessed.

A long temple lineup.

Looks like that might get in the way.

Yeah, I know. So bloody irreverent aren't I.

These trippy light boards are totally psychedelic at night

Yeah right

Cheap and nasty

The beautiful Doodh Talai, close to sunset

Looking out over the main lake, Lake Pichola

That’s not very nice

Cheeky bugger is copying the Bollywood guy

I keep forgetting not to be happy

Many Indians are into selfies with Westerners. Most of the local tourists here for Diwali rarely (or never) see Westerners in the flesh in their own home towns or villages. So they wanna mark the occasion. I always look the rattiest of all the photo subjects.

Ummm.....yes thank you

Ummmm…..no thank you

At night the streets are bursting with life as well. It’s a cacophony of sounds, lights and smells.

One night I went here, to an amazing traditional music and dance performance, with English Rory.

It was unbelievable.

The music was outstanding, with the male vocalists demonstrating a vocal range completely off the planet - they could sing incredibly high and also extremely low, but with equally full strength. Quite amazing. They’d definitely give many famous Western singers a run for their money.

And the dancing, by an obviously serious professional dance troupe, was stunning - incredible dance moves which were also very nuanced, and full of personality and connection.

Dancing with a collection of food pots on her head, including lots of twirling and bending.

Puppeteer/comedian, whose puppet lost his head for awhile, and whose headless body then started to juggle it with his own feet.

The dancing ranged from slow and subtle, to completely wild and tribal. It was so incredible to watch, Rory and I couldn’t stop talking about it afterwards. This particular dancer was the standout, her movement and expression was sublime.

Later we went wandering, and ended up at another rooftop eating place, watching and listening to the fireworks extravaganza.

It was really interesting hanging with Rory, an architect. He’s done what a lot of people wish they could do. He’s thrown away his very well-paid job, and has gone off to travel the world. He wants to explore the culture (and particularly the music) of a whole bunch of interesting countries, and has been making dance tracks based on samples of music he’s been recording here. They’re awesome.

Both his parents are in a UK band that hit the bigtime in the US and UK in the nineties and noughties, a band called Sunscreem. Rory told me that when (if) I get to the UK they have a massive music studio that I can use anytime.

Well that’s promising.

India is Rory’s first stop on his trip, and he’s been blown away by it. Coming to Udaipur during Diwali couldn’t be a better start to that sort of adventure, his first experience of a country that’s anything like this.

Udaipur City Palace

So, the architectural pièce de résistance of this beautiful city is the incredible City Palace complex, which is one of the largest palace complexes in the world. It’s not just one palace, of course, but a whole series of them, along with huge and beautiful gardens, courtyards, and an extensive number of other buildings and temples within the palace walls.

It really is a sight to behold.

The whole complex is built on the beautiful Lake Pichola.

I went there at night as well as during the day. There’s so much to see in there. Not only are the buildings spectacular, but the whole place is a living museum, there’s all sorts of amazing things inside.

The first part of the palace was constructed in the mid 1500s, and other massive more recent ones were added to the complex over the centuries. Right from the early days, the vast wealth in there needed to be protected from invaders and marauders, who seemed to attack in steady succession over the years.

A hardy defence required armies, often on horseback. It required weapons, ammunition, and armoury.

Decked out in his metal fishnets.

Horses were completely armoured as well, and sometimes were fitted with fake elephant trunks to trick enemy elephants into believing they were actually baby elephants, and therefore discourage them from being attacked. I never would have thought an elephant wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a horse with a fake trunk and a baby elephant? They must have been a long way away.

Fancy pants.

Elaborate shields and killing implements, including super long rifles.

The 1983 film Octopussy was filmed in Udaipur, and in the film Roger Moore’s James Bond stayed at the Shiv Newas Palace Hotel, which used to be the residence of the Maharana (ruler) of Udaipur. Lots of other places in the city were used as set locations.

This is not a pen. It’s a gun. Jimmy Bond could’ve done with it.

It’s amazing the intense thought and creativity that goes into constructing things to kill people.

And the art.

Palace shrines

Preparing for sabre rattling

Headless horsemen of the Apocalypse

This basin was carved from one single block of marble. After the coronation of the king it was filled with 100,000 silver coins. One quarter of them were given to people who had gathered in the courtyard, knowing something was going to happen (but not knowing what).

The remaining three quarters were given to the poor.

Now that’s the spirit.

Giving to the poor is an extremely important part of Islamic and Hindu culture. Diwali also happens to be an auspicious time to do it.

As usual, there were loads of intricate carved window screens

There’s loads of us jammed in there

Stunning frescoes

So nice of her to pose for me

For Royal swingers

He really looks cut out for this job

Him not so much

Peacocks are a revered bird in Rajasthani culture

Gran and the clan.

Hey, good name for a band

Huge water pots

Hangout zone. I love the old fan.

Ancient card game

And board game, without the board

Female warriors were also involved in fighting for their revered leaders. Wow, so lucky, they also had the chance to get violently killed, just like their male counterparts.

I want a gold mozzie net too

There’s countless ancient statues like this in one of the sculpture galleries.

The Maharana killing a tiger. What a guy.

Ancient and modern beauty. The sun symbol is the emblem of the House of Mewar, and appears frequently around the place.

Gettin’ down

Pole-ish sitar player

Dilruba

Tanpura

Interesting take on Indian racial ancestry. It’s debatable what ‘Caucasian’ actually means. I always thought it meant white, but with a European/Central Asian facial bone structure. But some scholars base it only on facial structure. So if you take away colour, Indians (well, from the north and central regions at least), are actually Caucasians, according to that model.

Some pics of various members of the Mewari royal family

Cute chidlings. Don’t look particularly Indian in this pic.

Just been skydiving

1940 procession

Chair handrest

Borat’s grandfather

Pricey crib

A portrait of equinenimity

Just in case you’re thinking of ramming the gate

Ceiling detail

In Amongst It

I spent a few days just wandering around and enjoying this city. While there’s always things that tourists seem to do, I’m not necessarily that inclined to do too many of them. I mean, I’ll go to the amazing places, but then spend most of my time just wandering around and exploring. I love that. No particular boxes to tick.

There’s an infinite number of walkways along the lakes around here

Sadhu looking for food options

Ritzy new hotel. Or spenny, as Rory would say. He uses that word to mean expensive, or upmarket.

Krishna hanging out with the birds again

Shiva, spouting the waters of the Ganga from the crown of his head

The Taj Lake Palace, an extremely spenny hotel. Rooms there are about Rs 60,000 per night, about $1200 Oz. Roughly about a hundred times more than what I’m paying for mine.

Great, I like watching demo sations

The squatting teen girl was carving marble by strongly whacking a metal carving tool with a hammer

Camera shy. Trying to remain incowgnito.

And another couple.

Probably watching the cricket.

Sunset from my guest house rooftop.

Night Moves

So, as the amazing 5-day-ish fiesta of Diwali finally drew to a slow conclusion, I decided to move on.

I booked a local sleeper bus for a long overnight journey to Jaisalmer, my next exciting destination. It was an unluxury bus. It was yet another old banger, clunker, squeaker and rattler, and unfortunately my sleeper was at the back, always by far the bumpiest spot.

The sleeper itself was relatively comfy, a thin mattress in a little compartment all to myself. But once the bus got moving the journey was like being on an intense roller coaster ride with absolutely no suspension, and with movements way less predictable.

Sometimes my whole body was literally thrust upwards off the mattress, only to crash down soon after. Sometimes I was swung violently from side to side. The potholes and bumps were intense and, of course, completely sudden.

I tried to write, but it was too bumpy. I couldn’t physically type, let alone properly read. I tried to watch a Spanish movie I’d downloaded onto my iPad, but even that was pretty difficult, as the whole iPad would sometimes fly into the air, along with me and the subtitles.

But eventually I slept, and surprisingly I think I got about six hours sleep, on and off, during the thirteen hour clothes-dryer journey. Not bad. Maybe the road was better in parts, I’m not sure exactly how I did it, given the intensity of the movement and sound in there.

I woke to this. The vast dry plains of western Rajasthan. Goats, and a few farmers.

Dry and sandy

Morning action, from some of the tiny settlements on the way

Amazing you can buy a child in an English wine shop here. Or at least child beer.

I’ve seen a lot of signs for English wine shops. I mean, I know the Poms are getting more into making wine these days, but they aren’t particularly known as anywhere near decent winemakers are they? They’re more like wine importers, aren't they?

And wine guzzlers.

Good to see some wind turbines here. But, I’ve gotta say, I’ve hardly seen any solar panels anywhere, even though apparently India’s overall solar power generation is growing. Renewables as a whole still only account for about 18% of India’s total energy generation, compared to about 36% for Australia.

Just FYI, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, it’s a totally mixed bag.

Iceland and Norway lead the pack with renewables, both at roughly 100% (geothermal for Iceland, and hydropower for Norway). Other notable larger countries include Uruguay at 96%, NZ at 84%, Brazil 80%, Canada at 65% and Germany at 46%.

Then there’s the UK at 41%, Spain at 38% and China at 24%.

And then there’s the most irresponsible countries, including France at 18% (same as India), the US at only 15%, the UAE at 0.3%, and Saudi Arabia, with a total renewable generation proportion of a whopping 0.0%.

Yeah, thanks a lot. Our kids are so grateful.

Unfortunately, there’s still way too many fossil fools on our struggling planet.

And, by the way, just because Australia’s renewable generation proportion is quite high by global standards, doesn’t mean that Australia is a responsible global citizen. No way Renée. Australia is the fifth biggest producer of coal in the world, and the seventh biggest producer of gas. Massive mining companies make a ton of cash out of fossil fuels, even if most of those fuels aren’t burnt at home.

And those same companies donate huge amounts to Australian political parties, to ensure their proposed new and ongoing mining operations continue to get government approval. Last year, they gave over $2m to the ALP, Liberals and the Nationals (and that’s only the reportable donations). Other fossil fuel lobby groups like the Mineral Resources Council (MCA) and the Australian Petroleum Production & Exploration Association (APPEA) also donate huge amounts.

And, surprise surprise, despite undeniable climate science imploring us to move in the other direction, massive fossil fuel projects continue to get government approval. There’s currently 118 new fossil fuel projects in the investment pipeline in Australia.

The Australian government currently provides an estimated $9.7 billion per year of taxpayer money to fossil fuel companies every year, in the form of direct tax subsidies. A recent IMF report found that if you then add in the environmental and health costs of the fossil fuel industry, which the government (taxpayers) need to pay for, the annual cost to taxpayers spikes up to about $65 billion per year, which is about 2.5% of Australia’s annual GDP.

Yeah, thanks heaps for that, so grateful.

Notice that Rajasthani buildings, and many buildings in India for that matter, don’t have sloping roofs, but just concrete slabs or panels on the top storey. This upper space is utilised, for things like grain or clothes drying, as a washing or sleeping space, a launchpad for kites, or even for rooftop cafes and chillout zones.

The Golden City

I’m close to the desert now. Way over in western India, not too far from the border with Pakistan.

Due to the tense nature of political relations between India and Pakistan, India has large military bases around here, and while I haven’t seen any bases yet, every afternoon I hear Indian Air Force jets racing past, asserting their authority over the skies.

It makes me cringe, the idea of two neighbouring countries wasting so much public money on weapons, while both are bursting with poverty and need.

Jaisalmer is a city of about 90,000 people, situated on the flat dusty plains of western Rajasthan, close to the vast Thar Desert. Camels are the stock of choice here, I saw wild herds of them from the bus as we crossed the plains, their long necks stretched up to reach tree foliage high above them.

The countryside reminds me a little of parts of western NSW or Qld, or northern South Australia, with vast dry plains, sometimes adorned with rocky outcrops and small hills.

But take away the landscape and this place feels just about as far away from Australia as you can get.

One reason is the physical evidence of a whole millennium of human settlement and extravagant architecture, all over the place. Villages are old. Really old. Buildings have been here for centuries, and look just the same as when they were first built.

Everything in the older part of this city is built of beautiful yellow stone, hence the moniker of the golden city.

Walking around the narrow laneways I sometimes get the feeling I’ve suddenly gone back a few hundred years, to the days when everything was done manually, when religious devotion to ancient deities and unwavering strict family values remained the cornerstone of society. It’s sorta still like that in many places here.

But then suddenly an insanely loudly-beeping motorbike will rush past and nearly hit me, or a bunch of teens will be sitting in a doorway watching the cricket on a mobile phone, and ask me “What is your good name?”

I arrived in the morning, and one of my first sights was the amazing fort on the hill. I strolled off to find a place to stay.

These guys are really big sometimes. With very sharp-looking horn tips.

I found a spot

The view from outside my room

My room padlock

Rather labour intensive way to make a fence, if you ask me

She looked a little forlorn, maybe a Diwali hangover. Or, more likely, it’s that horrible plastic bottle.

Incredibly beautiful stonework

Pushing a heavy load of stone through the laneway

Gorgeous fabrics

My dosa spot

Fancy

Italian Marco and Monika avoiding sparks from a makeshift rooftop cafe Diwali firework fiesta. They’re lovely people. We had a beautiful chat about India, they’re long time visitors here, Marco’s a musician who plays and build guitars, and who also plays the sitar, and they both live in London now.

Diwali lights outside a home.

Bhang Bhang, You’re Dead

A government bhang shop. Bhang is a paste made from cannabis buds and leaves, and then added to food or drinks such as lassis, pakoras and little biscuits called peda. It’s also mixed with ghee and sugar and rolled into balls called goli.

Bhang is legal in certain government-approved places in India, particularly in the state of Uttar Pradesh. In Rajasthan it’s not legal to make it, but it’s legal to sell it if the stock has come from states where it’s legal.

As a powder, bhang is available in ayurvedic shops as a legitimate medicine used in traditional healing for fevers, dysentery and sunstroke, as well as to aid digestion and appetite. It’s also used to help with certain speech impediments and to encourage general alertness.

For me however, a big dose of bhang is more likely to create a speech impediment and an acute case of non-awareness.

So maybe it’s time for a bhang story....

The first time I was in Varanasi, myself and two friends decided to try a bhang lassi for the very first time, from one of only a few shops that sold it at that time.

The shop we chose was long and skinny, with the bhang wallah at the front, and had a long hallway leading to some tables at the back, where we sat expectantly, having each ordered a “weak” one. From where we were, we could see right down to the front of the shop.

The shop itself was on a super busy road. Outside was a roundabout, and as we’d gone in we’d noticed a big beefy policeman with a similarly beefy moustache, who was directing traffic, wielding a huge wooden baton in a way that made it very clear to everyone exactly who was boss around there.

As we sat watching at the back of the shop the policeman walked in, and said something to the bhang wallah. He then looked intensely down the hallway at the three of us scruffy hippies, and with his eyes still fixed on us he put out a hand to the bhang wallah, who scooped an absolutely huge dob of bhang onto it.

The cop then suddenly smiled at us from moustache-tip to moustache-tip, whipped out an enormous tongue, and licked the whole dob of bhang into his mouth in one go. He then licked his lips, smiled at us again, turned around, and went back outside to his traffic duties, whistling away, and swinging his baseball-bat baton expectantly.

Only in India.

As we sat in disbelief, our “weak” bhang lassis turned up. They were strong. It didn’t take long for the bhang to kick in, and when it did the streets of Varanasi became markedly wilder and infinitely more chaotic than they’d been before. We noticed as we went outside that the traffic cop appeared completely unaffected by his huge dose of bhang.

But we, on the other hand, could do little more than wander around aimlessly for awhile, and then eventually return to our guest houses and crash out.

The very next day, for some inexplicable reason, we decided to return to the bhang lassi shop, and we ordered the “medium.”

Same result, but more intense. We went to a Bollywood movie, it was incredible, but we hardly made it out of the cinema. Again, we eventually crashed like dead men.

You know where this is going.

On the third day we bit the bullet, and went for the “strong.” I really don’t know exactly what we were (or weren't) thinking. We didn’t even twig that our bodies must've been swirling with THC from the previous two doses.

Surely we must've known what would happen.

The bhang wallah really didn’t hold back on his dosage for the strong lassi, we watched him.

After drinking the lassis and leaving the shop it didn’t take too long for our worlds to completely implode.

I remember leaving the lassi shop, but I don’t remember anything whatsoever about anything else that happened that night. I don’t remember where we went or what we did. I don’t even remember getting back to my guest house or going to bed.

The only thing I do remember is that I eventually woke up because my two friends were banging incessantly and intensely on my door.

A whole 24 hours had passed.

The bhang had knocked at least a full day off my life.

Resting Up

I’m not doing too much around here.

And I’m loving that.

Every day I walk around town and see more interesting things. There’s the huge fort on the hill to explore, and all the history and quirkiness of the old city. There’s temples and museums, markets and eating places.

But at some point I’ll leave this town, to continue on my long slow Rajasthani ramble.

In the distance, far to the east, is my next destination.

The famous blue city of Jodhpur ❤️

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